:: Tears of the Moon ::

:: Monday, September 30, 2002 ::

The moving telephone story

Honestly, guys, I wouldnt fake this story even to pull your leg. May and Meg can attest that I wouldnt kid around with it.

We went to the mall at around 9.15 or something. So, we all went out of the training room and locked the door behind us. It was around 1 when we came back.

This is what our training room looks like. Its has a classroom layout, with a whiteboard up front. Beside the whiteboard is our trainor's desk, ala teacher's table. On the other side of the whiteboard is the doorway. So when you enter the room, everybody would see you come in.

There are two rows of long office tables comprising our 'desks', and an aisle in the middle. So, it's two desks up front, two at back, the aisle, then two desks up front, two at back. Right? Per half-row is a disconnected phone (no phone jack), for practice and training. Our trainor's desk also has one up front.

So, we came back and I hung back a little, maybe two or three steps behind. I had a clear view of the doorway, and my three coworkers who went and opened the door. Summer opened the door, the room was dark. When he switched on the light (they were all still standing outside the room, not stepping in), our trainor's phone was on the floor, two inches from the doorway. It looked like it was dragged there, and then whoever did it, laid the phone down. The cord was trailing behind it in a line, which suggests that it was 'dragged'. It was completely disconcerting. The last two people who left the training room were Wesley and Darwin, and they both vouched for each other that the other didnt go back.

Besides, why would anyone fool around like that? If they played a prank, it'd be more hilarious, like someone's underwear or diary opened, right? Not the freaking phone.

So, we were all creeped out. When we were all settled down, one of the night guards came up and asked us to sign the logbook for the night. JR asked if any of the guards knew someone come up, etc. The guard said no, because they stop the elevators (we were the only ones in the building), and the exit staircases were all in plain sight of the guard's desk. Nobody came up. He added, almost as an aftersight, that the 5th floor was haunted.

Bloody hell, we'd be working the GRAVEYARD shift there from Monday to Thursday! Eeek!

:: D said @ 2:53 AM [+] ::
...

No word on the verifier yet. But I think JR's going to pick from the median grade of us. Which means, not me more likely. I think they'd rather put me as frontline for the sales rather than the backup. Know what I mean? I dont know if I should take that as a compliment *look*

:: D said @ 3:53 PM [+] ::
...

We had training Friday night. Well, on paper, we were supposed to be training our bodies to get used to the graveyard shift already. We were planning to make the decorations for the account launch on Wednesday but JR came to the office a bit late, 9pm. The bookstores wouldve been closed already. And it was.

Went instead for a movie. All six of us agents, and JR. Since the last screening for Enough (JR's a big JLo fan) was at 10.30, we had an hour and a half to kill. We went to Pizza Hut to eat. We got two Family sized Hawaiian Pizzas, Super Supreme and Meatlovers'. Summer had his boyfriend, Paul, come over with a friend. So there were nine of us. (Aha! Fellowship!)

Why did I have the feeling that Im the only heterosexual single person in the table? Oh yeah, I was. The other two heterosexuals (sounds funny) there already had girlfriends (Wesley's engaged to be married next year) and boyfriends (Marj has a tragic lovelife). Darwin's single, but gay. Lev's single (rebounding), but lesbian. Summer brought his boyfriend along, and his bf brought another friend along.

Feh. Are single heterosexual males the endangered species nowadays? What sucks even more is that Summer's boyfriend was cute.

*rolls eyes*

Watched the movie. Suspense. Well written, well acted and well executed. Pretty good all in all. No loose ends. Thing is, Im not built for suspense movies. So at the intense moments, I was closing my eyes or texting. Coward me, I went to the rest room during a particularly intense beating scene. Eek!

Went back to office at one. Had a creepy ghost moment that involved moving telephones...

Sang Miss Saigon, Les Miserables and a couple other songs with coworkers and JR for the next three hours. Im glad that my coworkers appreciate the same musicals and stuff that I like. Now all I need to do next is to familiarize myself with Filipino songs..

Went to Whistestop at 5am for breakfast and coffee (for me, hot chocolate). Met up with JR and Summer's old friends from CCube (where they both worked). Went home at 6, got home around 7.30am.

So much for 'officially' training, eh? :D But it was fun. And we bonded better than other people would train their trainees. When the company expands, and we all stay on, we all have a huge chance of being promoted super by the end of the year. Oh please, I hope.

:: D said @ 3:45 PM [+] ::
...

There's a downside for having exuberant parents. Unlike many people I know, my mom and dad are very talkative people. I have memories of debates and discussions being encouraged at the dinner table.

Thing is, my dad's this really really smart guy. And although my mom's opinionated, she sometimes can't keep up with my dad. And when he gets excited about something, he talks. And talks. And talks, and talks. He most often than not just talks. And since Mom doesnt contribute so much, she ends up just nodding. And he drones on, coz he's excited about the topic. I get that with him too. He just yaks and yaks. I know he doesnt mean to sound like he likes the sound of his own voice.

He really ought to learn to stop and ask for other people's opinions. Coz if he's let alone, he just bulldozes straight through you. And he gets the 'bored' look from the rest of us. Well, how can we *not* feel bored? All he does is talk, and it doesnt seem to occur to him to ask *my* (or others') thoughts on it.

One thing he ought to learn.

:: D said @ 6:09 PM [+] ::
...

"Your Body Is A Wonderland"

We got the afternoon
You got this room for two
One thing I've left to do
Discover me
Discovering you

One mile to every inch of
Your skin like porcelain
One pair of candy lips and
Your bubblegum tongue

'Cause if you want love
We'll make it
Swimming a deep sea
Of blankets
Take all your big plans
And break 'em
This is bound to be a while

Your body Is a wonderland
Your body is a wonder (I'll use my hands)
Your body Is a wonderland

Something 'bout the way the hair falls in your face
I love the shape you take when crawling towards the pillowcase
You tell me where to go and
Though I might leave to find it
I'll never let your head hit the bed
Without my hand behind it

you want love?
We'll make it
Swimming a deep sea
Of blankets
Take all your big plans
And break 'em
This is bound to be a while

Your body Is a wonderland
Your body is a wonder (I'll use my hands)
Your body Is a wonderland

Damn baby
You frustrate me
I know you're mine all mine all mine
But you look so good it hurts sometimes

Your body Is a wonderland
Your body is a wonder (I'll use my hands)
Your body Is a wonderland
Your body is a wonderland

:: D said @ 3:51 PM [+] ::
...

Love Song For No One
by John Mayer
Staying home alone on a Friday
Flat on the floor looking back
On old love
Or lack thereof
After all the crushes are faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded
I hate it

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here

Searching all my days just to find you
I'm not sure who I'm looking for
I'll know it
When I see you
Until then, I'll hide in my bedroom
Staying up all night just to write
A love song for no one

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here

I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
You'll be so good
You'll be so good for me

:: D said @ 3:44 PM [+] ::
...

Test page.

Have a test today. There's an opening for a verifier. Theyre testing us to get one from the six of us. I hope I get it.

:: D said @ 2:28 PM [+] ::
...

Great day at work. Tiring, but good. Was up all night last night, slept only for an hour. Im sure I flunked the last test. Will have a test tomorrow, so Im going to make up for it tomorrow.

Practiced on the new AT&T script. Without inhibitions, I believe I am the best one with the sim by far.

We have fantastic agent incentives: movie tickets, dinners out, cash.. for attendance, incentive per sale, incentive if youre the top seller, incentive for blinking, incentive for taking a leak... lol. Boy, am I glad I was rehired.

Went to visit Meg at her office twice. Man, that girl is swamped. I wanted to reach over and give her a hug. But that would be too weird. HEhehe. Besides, she was too swamped with work to do anything but wave and try to talk to me with her hand covering the phone (at whoever's talking) half the time. She lost it for a moment there. You know those moments when you know that the person truly cant afford to wallow in their pain (even when they deserve it)? That was one of those moments. Im sure that if Meg had a couple of moments for herself, she'd have gone to a corner and cried. But there was simply too much work for her to indulge that, and relieve her stress. Damn, poor girl. And I knew that if I made a move to be extra nice and stuff, she'd break.

I hope they lay off her for a couple of hours tomorrow. She was truly overwhelmed.

Lets see.. crap. I want to clone Bri, swear to Bloom.

Looked nice today. Red top, pencil cut skirt, high strappy sandals and a silver anklet with little stars. I wish I wore that outfit for tomorrow, when Theresa and I have lunch.

Meg and I ought to have lunch Thursday or Friday.

We might start the AT&T campaign by Friday dude, so baka start na ang call namin by that time. Heading the decoration committee with Summer for the account launch. We're going to have streamers and banners, balloons and little US flaglets on our desks and above our heads. Im going to make a huge styro logo of AT&T and Zettcomm. And Im going to make a US states jigsaw map per state thing. By Friday. Hell, I volunteered for all of it. Ah. Martyr.

:: D said @ 8:30 AM [+] ::
...

kitt: yikes. getting woozy
kitt: *slaps herself*
kitt: *pokes bri*
A: huh?
A: sorry
kitt: its alright
kitt: i was dropping off for a moment there
A: didn't get to bed on time last night
A: lol
kitt: well, i wont go to bed today myself
A: hehe
kitt: and why didnt you go to sleep?
kitt: after this, Im reading my client manual, and then im off to work
A: cause I slept in
A: I should go
A: do some reading or something
A: I dunno
kitt: uh huh?
kitt: what's your 5pm class?
A: don't hve one
kitt: oh! youre waiting for the bus
kitt: *whacks head*
kitt: slow me
A: that was Law and Constituition, but it conflicted with another class on Wednesday
A: hehe it's okay
A: but to make up for it you could come over here and drive me home
kitt: i could, if i could drive
kitt: but id ride the bus with you
kitt: OR you could drive *me* home
A: hehe
A: yes
A: if I could drive
A: :-(
kitt: we should do that the moment the pacific ocean disappears
A: yeah!
Alex: or see about renting a flying saucer
kitt: sucks eh?
kitt: *maybe* we could borrow a saucer in roswell
A: yeah... we must look into it *g8
A: well, don't be late for work
kitt: i wont
kitt: bri, its 4am right now
A: I've heard that the government wants to put a tax on the mathematically
ignorant. Funny, I thought that's what the lottery was!
-- Gallagher

A: er
A: ohhh
A: don't listen to me
kitt: lmao
A: 4 am.... exactly 12 hours different. Hmm you'd think I could remember that


kitt: hey check this out: Reasons why sci.astronomy.amateur was blocked by CompuServe
kitt: http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/2_14.html#subindex
kitt: Well, after all, astronomers do post messages along the lines of:

1) "Exactly how long is your tube?"
2) "I need a friend to help me grind this thing..."
3) "I want to get in a little naked-eye action."
4) "What's the closest anyone's ever gotten to Uranus?"
5) "You need a bigger unit so you can go deeper..."
6) "What's the best way to mount a Short-Tube?"
stargazerkitt: 7) Reasons why smaller apertures are better...
8) Are you going to shoot the Virgin tonight?
9) She kept observing it as it rose higher and higher
stargazerkitt: (sheesh, and to think, I actually understand these things)
stargazerkitt: 10) "Mine is bigger than yours"
11) "Who says aperture doesn't count?"
12) "We do it in the dark"
A: haha... I get *most* of those... poor me... old... mind going...
A: :-)
kitt: its hilarious
kitt: bri, pick A or B
A: B
kitt: k, thanks
A: welcome
kitt: very helpful ;-)
A: hehe
A: what is this about?
kitt: i couldnt decide
A: oh
kitt: it was either something, or something else
A: ah
A: think B
A: for Brian
A: :-)
kitt: alrighty. will do. :-D
A: hehe
A: I should go to library... will be home in a couple hours
A: *hopefully* can get on from their
kitt: so, im not going to tie my hair today..
kitt: what do you need to do at the lib?
A: check into some stuff for IPE
A: mulling over essay topics
A: (International Political Economy)
kitt: IPE would be-? (i think my friend had that)
kitt: my friend DID have that
kitt: i *almost* took up pol econ in college
A: good if I have trouble I'll bug you to bug her/him
kitt: she's a good source
kitt: its her MA
A: :-)
A: anyay, it was great talking to ya, hopefully more soon
kitt: you have a couple of minutes before your bus arrives
kitt: same here
A signed off at 4:16:00 AM

:: D said @ 8:05 AM [+] ::
...

Chi and I went to the Klite Creed draw Thursday. She's qualified along with 60 people to go to Vegas. They were picking 2 people, so its a 1 in 30 chance. Went there with Meg, and a couple of others. The chatroom regulars at the Klite chatroom. It turns out that 13 of us went. Im betting that its going to be the largest gathering of the chatters ever. Wala nang mas dadami pa run.

It was great to see the face behind the username. What really slugged me between the eyes is one guy there who looked like a frigging moviestar. I had to stop my jaw from falling to the floor when I met him. Holy COW. Tangna ang gwapo talaga nya.

:: D said @ 12:37 AM [+] ::
...

Had a marathon phone convo with Theresa last night. When was the last time we talked? Its been years and years since we talked over the phone about stuff. I didnt realize how much we missed it till we talked it over. We're having lunch together maybe tuesday or wednesday.

Thing with Tere, is that she doesnt have much self esteem. I mean, with her work, her boss is sending her off to conventions and trade conferences to make contacts. But she has a problem with dealing with big bosses and executives. She can talk and discuss with regular people, but the moment she finds out that she's talking to an exec, she freezes up. So she brings me along to pass the ball around. :D

Its funny, coz she doesnt believe me when I tell her that her face is a killer asset. One reason why she got hired so quick is that she's pretty.. she's beautiful. And she's tall, and she has great skin. Plus she's an architect. They couldve gotten other people, but for the purpose of getting new contacts, you use every advantage you have. For her, she's already by default better off, because the moment she presents herself, she stands out. Now all she has to have is the confidence to present herself, and she'd be a killer. They wouldnt know what hit them.

Two days ago, she told me that she was in Power Dressing mode. And that its true that it gave her a confidence boost. She was able to be more relaxed and confident with her boss. She was even able to really converse with the guy that day (im so proud). Now all she needs to build up is her presentation skills..

She just found out that one of her coworkers has had a crush on her since college. They went to the same school, both architecture. But she has a bf, and the guy was so slow, so its no loss. Nakakatuwa at ngayon nya nararamdaman na maganda sya. Im glad she really actually sees now that she's desirable. She always tells me that I keep on building her up. I once introduced her to Eman, and afterwards, Eman looked at me as if he was slugged: "Yeah. She's beautiful"

Lol, if my mission is to help her with her confidence and presentation, her mission on me is to get me to have a social life and to date. I cant believe my best friend is pimping me to her guy friends. lol. I told her that I never really put stock on my looks.. lemme put it this way. If a guy comes up to me and says "Hi there, I think youre smart", Id be flattered and say "Wow, thanks." But if someone came up to me and said "Hi there. I think you look really nice", Id have a squinched, disbelieving look on my face and say "Uh.. Really?" (in a disbelieving voice.

The downside maybe of investing in one side of your personality is that you dont have confidence on others. I would never really believe anyone who'd tell me that I was pretty. Really. I mean, they may sincere, but Id think theyre biased. Theyre my friends, my family, or theyre pulling my leg. Tere kept on insisting I look nice and stuff. Well, I know I look presentable when I try. But I hardly think that I can catch attention or anything. I mean, I know enough to *not* look stupid, but Im hardly stellar. And of course, she thinks I look nice.

Things look different when youre the one looking at yourself eh?

:: D said @ 11:36 PM [+] ::
...

Hi babe! just a quick post before I go!

:: Etoiline said @ 2:20 PM [+] ::
...

The AIM chat yesterday.

A: Kitt!
kitt: BRI!!!!
kitt: oh holy brad! How are you?
kitt: its been ages!
A: I'm okay
A: yeah!
A: how are you?
kitt: im okay
kitt: its pouring out here
kitt: 5.20am and today's my first day at work
A: oh new job, where?
kitt: i hope the way out, going to work isnt flooded
kitt: same workplace, same kind of job
kitt: but i get paid a bit more
kitt: 2 weeks training
A: yeah hope you can get there
A: and more money always good
A: I start a new job tomorrow *bounces*
kitt: hey bri, im worried
rkitt: two jobs! AND school!
A: I know!
kitt: can you handle it?
kitt: how's the sked for that?
A: but I couldn't turn down the second one
A: sched is still not finalized
kitt: do you still have time for school?
A: yeah
A: the second job, I have one seminar
kitt: what about writing? *bawl*
A: so that's an hour a week, probably an hour prep time
kitt: congrats on the TA job
A: writing is gonna take a hit
kitt: or RA?
A: aww thanks :-)
kitt: oh! resident adviser, right?
A: hmm?
A: no Teaching Assistant
A: I lead a seminar
kitt: TA! Wow!
kitt: Respectable Bri
A: lol
kitt: could that possibly happen? :D
A: hehe
kitt: the students might not listen to you. teehee
A: lol well 10% of their mark is decided by me so they might
A: participation
kitt: ahhh
A: I don't grade assignments or anything, undergrads aren't allowed to which is good cause I don't have time anyway
A: besides, I know at least three of them already
kitt: kinda like riley in buffy *wiggles eyebrows*
A: what?!?
A: Riley was boring!
kitt: im sure you'd be a blast bri
kitt: TA's have a certain kind of.. appeal. ;-)
kitt: great way to impress girls
A: hehe cool
A: course I can't date people in my class, but it's only one semester
kitt: that's alright. You have one sem to check em out :D
A: :-D
A: O:-)
kitt: i mean, yeah.
A: I'm making Willow a TA next semester, too.
A: Have you been reading my Magic Makers series? Oh yeha nobody ever reads them :-(
kitt: shoot sorry bri :-(
kitt: as it is, i only follow the AI, and then Homes
A: it's okay
kitt: no time for others
A: I understand
kitt: :-( im really really sorry'
A: I can't even keep up with AI
kitt: so, whatcha up to?
A: fighting with my mouse
A: printing an e-mail from microsoft, have to call tomorrow get a replacement
kitt: youre at odds with youre mouse?
kitt: that's a funny thought
kitt: shoot.
kitt: i feel so awful
A: :-(
A: aww
kitt: i just turned a guy down today :-(
kitt: i feel so frecking bad
A: ohhh
kitt: oh, shit. shoot me now
A: oh my
A: *hugs*
kitt: thanks
kitt: i feel bad, but i dont truly understand why i feel *this* bad
A: :-(
kitt: and im not even really close to the guy
kitt: i guess maybe its the first time ive been asked out
kitt: and then i turned it down
A: could be it
A: I really don't know... I really know nothing about dating at all
kitt: yeah, maybe that's it
kitt: hey, same here you know
A: it makes sense
A: yes
A: I am just glad it isn't just me
A: TV makes it seem like everyone is dating all the time
kitt: bri, if it were you id go out :-)
kitt: TV makes it seem that kids in the west are dating all the time
kitt: oh good gosh, bri, still there?
A: yup
A: :-[
kitt: what's that smiley?
A: blush
A: hehe
kitt: lol
kitt: hehehe
kitt: hey but im sincere
A: I know... and I would ask you out if you lived over here, or I lived over there.
A: *sigh*
kitt: aw, shucks. Damn, there are times when i just sincerely hate it that the world's so huge
kitt: :D
A: lol yeah me too
kitt: Hey wait, its early evening there, right? Or late afternoon?
A: 5:45 pm
kitt: end of the weekend for you :D
kitt: start of the workday for me
kitt: *hugs*
A: *hugs*
kitt: lol you know what?
A: what?
kitt: with the mess my personal life is.. my family, my mom, looking for a job..
kitt: my priest actually told me that its all good that im taking care of all these..
kitt: but that i should also go out and meet with people my own
kitt: my own age
kitt: meaning, "Kitt, go out and have a life sometimes"
kitt: it was the funniest thing
A: yeah
A: hehe funny advice from a priest... but sounds like good advice
kitt: i never thought id even hear it from him.:D
kitt: when he was my teacher (theology), he was like, 'relationships are serious things. Dont take them lightly. It takes a certain level of maturity.. etc etc" (meaning, dont get into one coz youre too young)
kitt: And then he tells *me* that. Im only in my early twenties!
A: hmm
A: well, at our age a few years is a big deal
kitt: that's true.
kitt: *bangs head on the pc*
A: aww
kitt: life sucks
...

A: the PRP course is the one where the prof got hurt, I haven't met the new prof yet... if he's an ass, what I should do is drop that, I can't take Ontario politics if I keep the Constituition class, so I'd add the GReat Books.
A: *sigh*
A: yeah...
A: I have one more year after this
kitt: PRP first, then a better perspective on your consti. It should make for more substantial papers
kitt: after this, you graduate?
kitt: or taking further studies?
A: yup
A: I'm going to get either an MA or a law degree
A: maybe take a year off first if I can get an internship somewhere interesting
kitt: alright! :-) Same plan for me
A: :-)
kitt: an MA, or id take another shot at law
A: great minds
kitt: if i dont get in next year then its a Sign from TPTB for me to stop trying already :-)
kitt: yeah, great minds ;-)
A: awww
kitt: i know someone who's the media and PR officer for a politician i really admire
kitt: but they dont have space for assistants (or if they wanted, I could carry his bag, make him coffee, hold the microphone..) yet. But she told me she'd definitely give me a call if ever
A: :-)
kitt: Bri, why the hell do you have to live so far away?
kitt: *whacks bri*
A: ow hey!
A: not my fault!
A: I was born here!
kitt: i was born HERE!
kitt: argh!
A: *sigh*
A: obviously at least one stork made a mistake
kitt: yeah. *sigh*
kitt: LMAO
kitt: oh i have to get ready for work
kitt: *checks for umbrellas*
rkitt: its raining so hard outside
kitt: i hope i dont get flooded
A: yeah, good luck
kitt: alright, im heading out to dress up
kitt: nice seeing you again, bri
kitt: after sush a long time
kitt: suCH (bad keyboard!)
A: *hugs*
A: you too
kitt: *hugs*
kitt: *whacks bri*
stargazerkitt: damn you for living so far away
A: *whacks back&
A: I love close
A: *live
A: YOU live far away
A: I have to go, dinner
kitt: riiight.
kitt: yeah. Stuff to do.
kitt: see ya

:: D said @ 1:39 PM [+] ::
...

First day at work. Training.

Two gay guys, one lesbian, another girl, a married guy and two guys who are older but I dont know much about, yet.

All in all, I have seven new people to meet. And the trainor. Theyre pretty..varied, I guess Id have to say. And, strange as it may seem, Ive never really worked with gays before. I know how stupid that sounds, but its true. Its not that theyre a completely different species, just that Ive never really known how it is to befriend one. *sigh* I think Ive led a sheltered life.

But all throughout the day, the thought still hovered in my mind. Checked out Meg's blog and lol, seems like May and Meg's pretty.. excited, I guess you could say. I read the AIM chat transcript again.

I know that if he lived here, or that I lived there, we wouldve been friends. Shit, with how he is, and how I am, di lang kami magiging friends. Baka nga matipuhan ko pa sya. Ewan. I feel the frustration of being so far away. I guess he feels the same, poor guy.

You know what makes it crazy? What makes it crazy? That he relates SO well to Alex. That's what makes him dangerous. That he writes. And he writes damn well. And he writes Alex well. And that he relates to Alex. So its his voice I 'hear' when I read his fics.

Shit. I better get my mind off it somehow. Need advice.

:: D said @ 4:01 AM [+] ::
...

Shit. Shit. Shit.

I dont know. I just feel sad.

Just found out something. That if the world were smaller (or if transporters were a modern appliance), there *is* someone actually I know that Id like to see more of. But he lives in another country. Goddamn it. He's a really nice guy. And I know that if he lived here, Id make it an effort to be friends. Rather, I know we'd hit it off.

And doesnt it suck even more to have him say it? (If you lived here, or if I lived there, Id ask you out)

Goddamn it.

But since it wont happen, Im not moving my thoughts in *that* direction. Its more like "Ay, sayang, di pwede" ("Too bad, it cant happen"). So we're friends. But, oh, if only the world were smaller.

:: D said @ 3:14 PM [+] ::
...

Went to Megamall with Theresa this afternoon. She needed help pitching her company for the first time in this Real Estate trade fair. I guess this is her first real test or something. They printed out calling cards for her saying "Architect, Business Development Officer". But she was nervous, so she asked me to tag along with her. She said, if she fumbled with it, she knew Id be able to help with the shoptalk if ever. Im flattered she thinks that Id be able to help her with her pitching style.

Theresa's my best friend. My other really close friend. We've known each other since High School, when the seating was arranged. She was seated next to the girl behind me (all girls), and we found out we had the same taste in books and was never the same again. We bonded over Pride and Prejudice (hers), Scarlet Pimpernel (mine), and The X Files.

We went to college, and I swear there were times that we'd go for months without contact. And we both have cellphones to call, and email to use. And sheesh, we're only one phone call away.

But its alright. She's the kind of friend that's always there, even when we dont see each other. When we do, its like.. its great. When we were younger, Ive always thought (and told her) that she was a really beautiful girl. But she was incredibly self conscious. And she was one of the tallest girls in class. And she was wearing thick glasses, she felt that she was too pudgy. I mean, self esteem. And being in an all girls school, so her physical beauty wasnt commented on. Besides, she was known more for her nerdy smarts than that (I was known for the bookworm smarts, and she was an honor student)

But we understood each other. I dunno. She's a really really good person. If I were born a guy, Id ask her out, for sure. She told me once that a guy asked her what kind of guy she liked. She said, "A guy Kitt". Dont we just love each other? :D Im glad she and Ronald are getting along so well. She works with a college classmate in her archi firm. She only found out that he'd been carrying a torch for her all throughout college. Isnt life just the funniest thing?

I have few *really* close friends, and my friendship with her is one that I really treasure. I dont know. I cant really explain the love I feel for her. I mean, if anything happened to her, Id just die. Im grateful for having a friend like her. And its not as if we were brought together by crisis, you know? I dont exactly remember what it was. There are just some people that you consciously know youre going to treat well the moment you meet them. We've never ever fought. And I feel that we're both of us are good to each other as if by default. Parang unspoken agreement na maging totoo kami sa isat isa na mabait.

Lol, here I am, waxing poetic about my best friend.

:: D said @ 3:04 PM [+] ::
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Shit. Today, I think Mom will come home.

God damn it.

Writing again.. this little project Im working on.

Vali made mod! Im so happy for her! So happy!

Went to the premiere of YaYa sisterhood with Chi, May and Meg. Funny thing, coz May ang Meg cried buckets over it. The movie's like a cross between How to Make And American Quilt and Joy Luck Club Somehow, I didnt feel so 'involved' in the movie. Must be the movie buff in me. I feel that there are some aspects in it, as a film, that feel off.. so Im not as emotionally involved as when the movie's thematically seamless.

Like, the concept of female sisterhood and bonding becomes overshadowed by Sidda's and her mom's hangups over each other. Her mother's drinking problem isnt so stressed until the end, and even then, it doesnt seem as if it were important enough to merit more drama in the story.. even if *that*'s been the cause of Sidda's hangups on her mother. The reason for Sidda's mom's emotional breakdown wasnt explained. And who the hell was Jack in the story anyway? And James Gardner was totally wasted as a male character..

Oh well. I guess nitpicking like this would just earn me the annoyance of people who wanted to enjoy the simple story of it. May and Meg certainly seem swept away.

:: D said @ 11:11 AM [+] ::
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West Wing this month! Thank the Valar its going to be shown again!

Gotta prepare for mass today.

Went to the bookfair yesterday. Got a couple of book. Mists of Avalon, The Bear and the Dragon, Too Many Religious Sects? and a couple of booklets. And Orlando. Nakaka shock talaga.

Got to talk to Mom. We're a bit warmer now.. I guess. She's planning to come back home by Wednesday. Ahe and dad really need to talk iti out, and she's agreed. Finally. Thank God. Put us out of our misery already.

Still gotta work on that resistance. I dont understand it. I guess it'll take a shrink to help me find out why.

:: D said @ 3:34 PM [+] ::
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Sometimes I think that Dad doesnt really need another person to converse with. Sometimes I think he just needs another person's ear who'd listen. Which isnt really so horrible, if I hadnt wanted to watch the XFiles that night. The 2nd episode of the new season. It was bad enough that I missed the Season Pilot last week.

Thing is, Dad tends to ramble a lot. And if you just keep on nodding, and saying yes, he'd go round and round the same damn things. And I didnt know how to tell him that *Dad, I neeeeed to watch this episode*, with Bryan freaking ot upstairs that it was on already. Ive figured out a way to cut through the bog of my dad's ramblings. When he says something that he's repeated maybe thrice or something, I'd say "Yeah, yeah. You've said that already. What next?" I dont know so much if its more that he wants to narrate *his* point of view, or to narrate the story as it comes along.

So, what does Dad really *mean* when he speaks? Does he want to have someone listen to his views, or is he storytelling? And he knows he can talk someone's ear off. Strangers, people outside our family just smile and nod politely, and sometimes even call dad a genius with his ideas. But us, his kids, his wife, he talks to *all the time*. And while we love him dearly, he is so exhausting to listen to. It makes you wonder sometimes if he needs *you* (especialyl) to listen, or just anyone who caught his eye, he'd just latch onto and start yapping. It pains me to think that he may be thinking that we're putting up with him. Maybe we are. But I think that right now what Dad needs to learn is to listen naman.

He knows he's smart. And people around him eventually figure it out. The thing with Dad is that he bulldozes his way (unintentionally) through, cutting off conversation. He may be a good person to ask for new ideas, but he oftentimes isnt the best person to have an argument with (hell, who is?). I mean, in an argument, he hardly listens. He just talks and talks and talks. It gives me the impression that while *youre* speaking, he's picking his way through your arguments to support his right after. Does he listen? Maybe. Maybe sometimes. Maybe when youre speaking slow, as if youre talking to someone younger than yourself.

Theyre alike in those points, him and mom. They both like to listen to themselves talk, and to hear themselves reawson it out. In such a case, they both think theyre right, all the way, because no one's really been loud enough to object. Theyre both smart people, so whenever lesser mortals face them, my parents come off as people you can depend on for rational answers. But being puffed up that way also has its drawbacks. Theyre not used to listening in the real sense of the word. Do they listen to the subtext behind a person's speech and argument? I think maybe not enough. Coz they listen to themselves too much.

The thing with knowing youre smarter than others and isolating yourself is that its a lonely place to be when youre in trouble. Because at that point, you have no one to talk to. Youre the smartest, wisest, most sane person you know.That's happening with Dad. And Mom simply isolated herself from the people she calls her friends. To this day I do not recall her ever introducing any of her childhood, elementary, high school or college friends to us. Even her sorority, to which she even became Grand Chancellor.So, my mom has no friends, except her blood relatives. And Dad's a lone wolf. So, what happens when the family is in crisis? Both of them dont have anyone to turn to. They dont have guideposts, elders, wise ones, to ask for advice. Thir parents both are too incapacitated to help. And Dad's siblings and Mom's siblings are in no position to help.

Its easy enough for me to do, because Im still young. I have *them* to count on. And my old teachers, and my older friends. Heck, even the friends I have that are my age. And then there's Father P. And Ms T. And a whole host of other people I can ask for advice. But Mom and Dad hardly kept track of people who could help them out that way. So what happens? Mom runs to her sisters in Cagayan, who hardly know the whole story. And Dad turns and makes a psychologist out of me.

Dont get me wrong. I love my Dad. But there are times that talking about IT has become so tiring. And Mom's constant fluctuation has brought me up, down, up, down emotionally on this. Its tiring to be wrung out like a wet piece of laundry all the time. And its tiring to be dragged into a talk-out discussion with Dad the moment he says "kit, let's talk about something", which would last for three hours, might I add. Not to mention how *I* feel about things.

Am I rude? Was I rude for cutting Dad off when he's off course? When he talks, he's not used to being told to stick to the agenda. He goes on and on and on. Coz no one's told him to. And he's worked freelance all his life, he has no experience in having a meeting and haveing only 5 minutes to present your case. There is absolutely no minute to waste, and every second has to be maximized. He needs to wax poetic about things. And worse, he repeats himself, and his points. Sometimes he reveals too much. And sometimes his delivery is just plain off.

Apparently Mom's getting 'better'. I think she's coming home soon. At this point my mind is at wariness. Cautious hope that it's going to be better now. Cautious, because she can go off like a rocket any other time. At any wrong turn. At anything she perceives that boxes her in. At the slightest suspicion. Im tired. God, Im tired.

:: D said @ 1:24 PM [+] ::
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Watched Bourne Identity tonight. Lol at this point, we've been getting really lucky. The past few months, all the movies we've watched were for free. Matt Damon's bod is incredible. And it seems like he hardly got a stunt double for his action scenes. Whoa, the action scenes for that guy.. ::sigh::

Lammy got to see VIGGO! Wow! Wow! Wow! Now I am pretty sure that there is a good chance she'd really get to meet Orlando in the future. And the rest too. Im so glad for her.

Still waiting for May's fic to update.. And Em's.. Sheesh. I wanna read new parts already.

:: D said @ 12:49 PM [+] ::
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