:: Tears of the Moon ::

:: Friday, March 28, 2003 ::

Again doing roleplay with the newbies.

:: D said @ 2:10 PM [+] ::
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Doing roleplay with the newbies; waiting for them to call and hit the button. Im sure you dont have a clue what I'm talking about.

Have you ever had an experience where just the sight of the person you don't like pisses the hell out of you? That's what's happening here.

:: D said @ 3:53 PM [+] ::
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Wesley just found out that his mom has cancer. His family in the States has known about this for a week and he only just found out today. He was devastated. Shit. Who wouldn't? Just a few moments before the shift started, he got a phone call on his cell from his brother in the US. And since Wes was in the cubicle behind mine, I could hear him whispering furiously to the person on the phone. Then, he killed the call and stalked off outside. Naturally, I had to follow to see where he went. He looked really mad.

I found him at the pantry, Indian-sitting, staring out into space. "Uhm, Wes, what happened?"

He choked out, "My mom has cancer". Gad. Shit. What a way to find out. I rushed over, and what could I do but give the guy a hug? Damn. His parents are already in the States enjoying their semi-retirement. And he's been living here, the bachelor's life (lucky bastard) this whole time.

He was in no condition to continue work, so I called Shawn and told him the situation. Shawn went with me to the pantry to talk to Wes, and he allowed Wes to go home.

This whole time I can't help but think about my mom. Gad. That's devastating news.

I'm a sympathetic cryer. So, when Shawn was talking to Wes and I was there, I couldnt help but sniffle a bit too. Especially since its his mom. I couldnt stop thinking about MY mom.

Just the thought of it happening to my mother just cuts me off at the knees. I can only imagine what Wesley's going through. Shit. I'm just glad that at least his parents are in the US, and they'd be getting the best treatment there, for sure.

:: D said @ 7:32 PM [+] ::
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Heya

Thanks for posting in, Lammy. Alas, Evelyn has been put to rest. Evelyn the Flooble, I mean.

Its 7pm and I should be asleep. But I tell ya, going online is so addictive, its not even funny.

Hehe.

Salam Pax's blog is down. I don't know if its because of too much traffic, or because its been deliberately closed? I've been reading his recent blogs and of course I cant really say if he's real or not. Suffice it to say that there are people who vouch for his credibility. His accounts seem hella accurate though. And now I'm neck deep into his blog and I can't help but feel worried that its something deliberate that's happening.

Listening to Sheryl Crow's I Shall Believe on mp3. Every Roswellian who's worth her salt knows what this song is about. And in the light of Em finishing her epic Homes series, I can't help but feel wistful. Wishful. I Shall Believe

Maybe its the playlist? Coz the next song that comes up is Switchfoot's Dare You To Move. Another painfully poignant movie. *sniff* Call me sappy, but there really are so few things I'm really sappy about anyway. Gimme a break.

The fic's been on my mind for so long its driving me nuts. Its my last waking thought as I try to get some sleep, and I'm trying to work out the kinks of it while I'm riding the jeep going home. I really have to get things organized one of these days. This weekend.

Another payday rolling in. Yay. I hope Bright's job offer holds. I truly don't mind the pay. Just as long as its NOT starvation pay. Hehe. But really, just to work in the shadow of a potential giant is good enough for me. Just as long as I can pay my bills, commute, and have some wiggle room for savings. I wanna get out, really.

It was a stoopid stoopid thing Bob did. It was so stupid that.. bleh. I can't even get myself wound up and mad about it. Its just so plain stupid that I wonder where his mind goes. The guys joked to him once that if they hit him in the head, the sound might echo inside. And they were only half-joking.

:: D said @ 3:14 AM [+] ::
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In three hours, the US is scheduled to invade Iraq. I dont know if that's even the proper terminology for it. Just that everyone's tense and waiting for what to happen. Will they, or won't they attack? Seeing the news on TV, reading it online, it seems so far away. But Im sure Iraqis feel as if bombs are literally going to rain on them like hellfire in three hours. Thing about such a huge world is that things from the other side of the globe seem so far away. Yet, with advances in technology, news comes in as quickly as you can hit SEND. And you can access it on the net, or watch it on the news. But still, you feel so detached from what's happening. Especially here in the Philippines. We feel the crunch economically, with the peso falling in comparison to the dollar. But we dont feel the proximate danger the same way if we were Iraqis.

Anyway, in an odd way, I feel detached. Attack, or not to attack? Either way is fine with me. And that sounds weird probably, given that I'm gung-ho about war and peace. Looking at it objectively, I'm the kind of person who would most likely march rallies and do protest stuff in my own way, for the peace movement. But.. I dont feel like its the thing to do.

Maybe its because Im not directly involved. Maybe I dont really understand what the hullaballoo is about. Thing is about this peace movement, is that its a whole lot of people saying NO to war, yet everyone has different goals and objectives. NO to War.. and then what do you do about Saddam? What do you do about countries making nukes? And then there are those who say No To War, and then dont like Americans. They dont like the US just because of the many different reasons to do so. A couple of weeks ago there was a global movement to rally for peace. It was all over the news wires. Yet look at the different slogans for them: a different message almost for every kind of protester. Nobody wants war, sure. But there are as many why's when it comes to 'why not's? Know what I mean? For every protester, there is a different reason why they dont want conflict.

I find it strange. There are those who say that Saddam is not a threat. And then there are those who say that the US *is* the threat. And then there are others who say how dare Britain and the US call for disarmaments when THEY are the biggest nuke makers in the world. How can people be so united under No War and yet so divided as to the why's of it?

Right now I dont know what's going to happen. I want to savor the moment because I feel that the moment will never come again. The situation's so unpredictable in the sense that you dont know where things will go. Yet its so inevitable in the sense that whatever happens, there WILL BE a fallout, whether by means of armed conflict, or diplomatic conflict.

I dont know how the UN will handle this. If the US pushes through without UN assistance, approval or participation, what will the UN become? Just a global governing body with no jurisdiction and no actual executive powers? Dad and I were talking yesterday and we think that maybe the UN has outlived its usefulness. Maybe its all good for just aid: food and medicine, but not for peacekeeping. At the sticking point, the UN pulled its people out of Iraq once the March 17 deadline hit. If theyre such a globally recognized body, it ends up that they bow to US resolve at the last hour.

Now, isnt that odd? Sometimes its interesting to watch this conflict unfold piece by piece. You see how the world is so connected that one move made by one country, one government, affects other parts of the globe. Oddly enough, I dont feel strongly about this as I usually should (given how opinionated my family is about such matters). I'm more of the opinion that the situation needs to be resolved as soon as possible. Its like a patient that needs amputation because the wound's become gangrenous. To prolong the situation will make the disease spread, so you have to cut off the limb to save the leg.

I don't know. Maybe I just have too much time in my hands at work. Ive been reading one too many news sites. Hehe.

:: D said @ 2:27 PM [+] ::
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Its been a while. Hehe.

Needless to say, work has been keeping me busy. My contract ended on the 16th, but they asked me to come to work the Monday after that. And then they told us that we're permanent. Actually, they never TOLD us directly. I waited until later in the afternoon, Monday, for someone to call (I wouldnt want to go to work assuming that I'm a permanent employee now, would I?). In the end, Dad nagged me to text Shawn to ask. I said "Are we (meaning, Wes and I) supposed to go to work tonight? (meaning, the shift Tuesday morning) Because I don't know if we're supposed to, and no one's told us if we're supposed to be there" He texts me telling me to come at 5am, Makati office, Tuesday morning. So, Wesley and I did.

Today is my third day at work, off-contract. Shawn's supposed to show us the new contract and he's going to show it to us individually later. Lets see what happens.

:: D said @ 1:56 PM [+] ::
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