:: Tears of the Moon ::

:: Thursday, July 31, 2003 ::

Snagged this off Punzie's blog: PromoGuy's Monday Mission 3.30

1. Have you ever had, or known someone who has had, a "Mid-Life Crisis?" What happened? Is there such a thing or is it just an excuse?
Never known anyone who's had that. I know people with Quarter-Life Crisis. Does that apply? I think it's more of a mindset than anything. It makes you think of all the things you wish you've done at a certain age and haven't achieved yet.

2. Have you ever had a dream so vivid, that you woke up with certain emotions towards a person for what happened in your dream, even though they didn't do a thing to deserve it in real life? What did you feel and and what was the dream?
No. Hmm. I think I did, but I swear I don't remember it right now. Will get back to you. I know I remember crying.

3. I think everyone is creative in some way or other. Some people draw, some play music, some write, some cook, some build or sew. How do you express your creativity? Have you ever made money from it?

4. Speaking of creativity, I display some of my artwork on my website. It is there for everyone to view, but if I learned it was stolen and used commercially without my permission or being paid, I would be furious. Has anything you created ever been stolen? How did you handle it?

5. I imagine the question above is similar to what the music industry is going through with file sharing. Do you think downloading music via file sharing is "stealing?" Is taking songs without paying for them any different than someone taking your work without your permission?

6. How do you feel about the RIAA targeting everyone (parents, teenagers, grandparents) who share songs over the Internet with expensive lawsuits? Should they be selective in who they subpoena, or should all who violate copyrights be treated equally? Or are they going too far? Should the music be free?

7. On the same thought, what do you think pay-per-song concepts such as iMusic and BuyMusic.com? Will they succeed? Is this the solution? If not, what is?

BONUS: Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday?

TBC

Today's Comment Question: What is one thing you absolutely will never do? (no restrictions, say anything you want)

:: D said @ 5:58 AM [+] ::
...

Thanks to The Friday Five

1. If your life were a movie, what would the title be?
No Drama

2. What songs would be on the soundtrack?
Real (Plumb)
Why Georgia (John Mayer)
Bite Your Tongue (Duncan Sheik)
Fascinating New Thing (Semisonic)
Last Beautiful Girl (Matchbox 20)
Remedy (Jason Mraz)
Here With Me (Plumb)
Here With Me (Dido)
Tuloy Pa Rin (Neocolors)
Life's a Bitch (Shooters)
You Oughta Know (Alanis Morissette)
Semi-Charmed Life (Third Eye Blind)
Six Pac (The Getaway People)
Firestarter (Prodigy)

3. Would it be a live-action film or animated? Why?
Live-action. I'd want to see actors.

4. Casting: who would play you, members of your family, friends, etc?
Daria Morgandorfer. Or Winona Ryder, but I wish she wasn't such a freaking klepto.

5. Describe the movie preview/trailer.
Hmm. Never thought of that. I'd always imagined my life to be a reality TV show. So, the trailer depends on the highs and lows of my day/week.
============================================

Real by Plumb

Look at me I'm twenty three
Beautiful a sight to see
Tonight

A little dress to draw the press
And I'll be leaving
All the rest behind

Well be pleased girl
If this is what you wanted
The whole world is watching you take the stage
What will you say

Aren't I lovely
And do you want me cause
I am hungry for something that will make me real
Can you see me and
Do you love me cause
I am desperately searching for something
Real

I close my eyes imagine time
Will not forget
My sacrifice

I numb the ache and decorate
My emptiness
Stand naked in the light

Well be pleased world
If this is what you wanted
This young girl is everything that you made
What will she say

The world goes home
The lights go down
My lipstick fades
Away

Rumor has it that they're coming over. Will watch. Will buy tickets for me and my sis.

:: D said @ 5:45 AM [+] ::
...

http://www.thebigview.com/pastlife/

:: D said @ 9:37 PM [+] ::
...

Slambook part deux

Yes. I've become addicted. And since Google's become an advertising idiot, it's pretty much useless to search there. I got this from AskJeeves:

1. Describe what you feel like waking up on Monday morning.
All the expletives.

2. Describe your most memorable experience. The night my brother and I watched fireflies on our backyard.

3. If you could relive your life, what would you do differently? I'd lie and tell my teacher that "yes, I *did* pass that paper, you just misplaced it". Woulda saved me a whole lot of trouble.

4. What is your favorite book? Too many to mention. But the one that comes to mind: The Scarlet Pimpernel.

Runners-up include:
Les Miserables (Victor Hugo)
Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
Much Ado About Nothing (Shakespeare)
Finding the Dream (Nora Roberts)
A Wrinkle in Time (Madeleine L'Engle)
Anne of Green Gables (LM Montgomery)
Stephen Hawking's A Brief History of Time
Firebrand (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
The Mummy, The Mayfair Witches series, The Queen of the Damned (Anne Rice)
(and I'm sure I can name more once this thing's up)

5. What is your favorite color? Purple

6. Have you ever wished for true love? Not *wished*, wish

7. Where do you like to go on dates? A movie. Coffee. Conversation. But since I've never gone out on one, I can only imagine *rolls eyes*

8. Have you ever skipped school without permission (played hookey)? Of course.

9. Suggest a book for me to read. Any of the titles in #4

10. Have you ever lied to your boyfriend/girlfriend? Never had a bf, so I can't say. I don't think I would, though.

11. If you could relive any period of your life, what would it be? When I'd take exams. If I knew the future, I'm sure I'd do better with my tests. Hehe.
==========================

Which famous person would you least like to be stuck in a lift with?
Marilyn Manson. Just because he's scary.

What was your favourite childhood toy? This rag doll we called Wee-Wee Woman. Don't ask me why. But she was such an adorable doll.

What’s the nicest thing you’ve ever smelt? Chocolate and Caramel

Describe your dream home. Somewhere near the beach with a clear (and unpolluted) view of the night sky.

What TV programs did you love as a child? Sesame Street. The Muppet Show. LA Law (yes, I did watch that when I was seven)

What is the most frightening thing you've ever seen? The scene in the movie Signs where Mel Gibson opens his flashlight and he sees a flash of green alien leg moving inside the rows of cornstalks. EEEEAAAAYYYAAaaahhh!!!

Who is the richest person you know? May! Ow! OW! I'm kidding! Alright! Alright! Hehe. Maybe Brian Belen.

Which bad habit irritates you the most? People rubbing their metal spoons and forks together. It kills me everytime.

Are you for or against capitol punishment? Against.

What would you like to be doing 5 years from now? Working for the Roco administration.

Which celebrity would you most like to see assassinated? That's a tough call. Lacson. Cojuangco. Enrile. A jail cell is just too merciful sometimes.

Have you ever seen a ghost? I've *felt* ghosts. I think I've seen one once.

What song would be absolute torture to have to sit through over and over again? "Will You Be My Number Two?" and "Somebody" (the one that goes "I want somebody to share, share the rest of my life.." Gag. Gag. Gag)

:: D said @ 9:36 PM [+] ::
...

Okay. I'm not kidding. There's a guy in the office who looks like Darius Danesh (Colourblind. Uber nice song) and Alex Band of The Calling. Even if I'm not so into The Calling *or* Alex Band. But he just.. translates well as a Filipino. :D

Sigh. Looks like a nice office. ;)

It's just going to suck if these guys are (1)gay or (2) taken. Story of my life.

:: D said @ 12:56 PM [+] ::
...

Work work work.

I couldn't get online when I got home because dad was acting like a ten year old. Fine. I ate breakfast (which is dinner in *my* body clock), took a shower and went to bed after reading a bit.

On the way home I passed by some people still sleeping. We turned one corner with this guy sleeping on a folding bed with his face covered by a towel. Three feet beside him was a mountain of trash.

The last jeep home I rode on was idling when I got off the Antipolo ride. I stepped in and there was this frail, thin old lady who crossed the aisle as I was coming through. It was touching to see hands reaching out to help her get to her seat. Chivalry in the old sense may be dead, but caring for the old is not. I guess maybe it's because the lady was so old and frail and a bit batty. Her lip was trembling, and veins stood out on her arms and legs. Her hair was all-white and her eyes looked somewhat gray. But she looked like a grandma who's well taken cared of.

The driver was solicitous, and made the effort to really pull over to a complete stop and waited for her to get off. Again, hands reached out to help her get off the jeep. It was a touching sight.

:: D said @ 5:46 AM [+] ::
...

Bob Hope dead at 100

:: D said @ 3:04 PM [+] ::
...

Saw Punzie's blog today and I figure it might be a good idea. So I Googled.

Thanks to this site: Craziest slambook questions

1. If you were to die in 10 seconds what would be the last things you would say? I was happy.

2. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a pickle? No. To be sour and wrinkled? No thanks.

3. Have you ever been in rehab? Is there a rehab for Net addicts?

4. Where is the strangest place you've had sex? Since I've never had it, I'm not going to answer this question.

5. What would you do if you woke up as a member of the opposite sex? So?

6. If you were to be executed tonight, what would you request your last meal to be? Pizza with the works. Cinnzeo's Mocha Soul

7. What's better, being born with wings or having wheels for legs? Born with wings

8. Are your parents gay? I wouldn't be here now, would I?

9. Which celebrity would you like to smack in the head? why? Robert Downey Jr. You're such a good actor, how can you screw it up?!

10. If you could find out when you were going to die, would you? Nope. I'd rather live my life as if the day were my last.

11. You're dead. You're having coffee with God. What do you ask? Why did you create man?

12. If you had to perform a strip tease, what song would you get nekkid to? Let's Get It On by Marvin Gaye. Slow and easy. *eyebrows* Or Santa Baby; as performed by Calista Flockhart of Ally McBeal.

13. Is comitting suicide because of love a bad idea??? Yes.

14. If you were a candy what candy would you be? A Snickers bar.

:: D said @ 5:00 PM [+] ::
...

Tweaked a whole lot of stuff on the blog. It was surprisingly addictive. Lookit the new links *wiggles eyebrows*

Wean. That's my word for the day. One day at a time, eh, Lammy? *g*

Watching videos while the rest of the house's asleep
Lud. I just watched a video by this artist named MAKSIM, who dressed like a rock star and played classical piano like he was born with a keyboard in hand (Flight of the Bumblebee, The Piano Player). Drool. Cripes. Long fingers and dressing in grunge. Good Lord he played this ancient grand piano with rubber bands on his fingers, flitting back and forth between he piano and scribbling on his sheet music. *gasp!*

There must be other videos that this guy's made. I am seriously aroused.

Rock gear and classical music. Oh yeah baby.

Got to write. Yeah!

I got to write a bit for IMR. Thank goodness. I think writing something Ros-related helped. Whew. Thanks to Jen btw for helping me weed through stuff on that one. :) I'm slowly getting out of the rock.

Damn stupid coup d'etat (thanks btw to Punzie!)

It's all over, and there's no bloodshed.

Which was a relief. Just that sometimes I think the military's such wusses. There better be a major shakeup after this.

:: D said @ 3:01 PM [+] ::
...

This isn't writer's block. It's a writer's boulder. A writer's mountain..

Damn it. There is simply no other way to go about the story. I've let it stew, I've tried to forget about it. But the damn thing haunts me. Honestly! Can I just enjoy a bus ride without thinking about whether or not they should dance, bicker, fight, almost-kiss? Can I please have a quiet fifteen minutes without the damn thing bombarding my thoughts when it's quiet? I can't even go to bed without thinking about it while I wait to fall asleep.

It'll be easier once I get past the third part. I know it will. Or else, I'll chuck the whole thing out the window (as if). I've put myself in a rut, is what I've done. Grr.

Looping doesn't work. Staring at a blank piece of paper doesn't work. Reading Nora Roberts doesn't work. Maybe I should go pick a fight with a guy friend to give me some inspiration. I need some bickering to get me started. Maybe Justin *was* of some use, after all. Gah. I'd hate to think that that libidinous bastard had something to do with my writing.

I haven't written a page, and I intend to do a rewrite?? What the hell was I thinking??

Fuck. Maybe reworking the Roswell ones will get my mind off it.

Mom awake. Whew. Thank goodness. I'm safe again for yet another day. You can't imagine what a tightrope it is, to be online everyday.

Rest in Peace
Watched XFiles last night. The episode where the Lone Gunmen die. I'm seriously sad. Let's have a moment of silence, please.




Never give up. Never surrender.

(Plus points if you know where that line came from)

:: D said @ 2:17 PM [+] ::
...

Riding the Bus.

What I like about riding the public bus early in the morning's the time to either sleep on the bus, or just think. Well, lol there's also the fact that I don't have enough money to ride the MRT, and then the jeep, to our area. This way, I'm going to pay P24 to get home, which is the cheapest way to get home.

Cheap ride notwithstanding, it's a nice long ride. We got off at around 5, and I got to ride the bus at 6am. The air's still fresh and crisp, with none of the rush hour smog.. yet. It's a different experience to be sitting in the bus speeding towards EDSA at five or six in the morning. Few people in the streets; mostly just those who're coming home/going to the provinces. And the hobos sleeping on carton boxes with their families. They slept where they lay, with only a folded out carton box to lie on and nothing to cover themselves. I could see the soles of their feet and they were so dark and calloused, because they live on the streets. I'm sure they have work during the day; they're the small candy vendors, the newspaper vendors, instant rubber stamp makers, swatch repair and small stuff vendors that we pass through everyday. Gives a helluva good perspective.

I like riding the bus because it gives me a chance to see the city wake up. And to see the city on the half-awake state. Free highways and closed up stores. And at the closed gates and doors of those closed-up stores, there are families of the homeless, sleeping on flattened cartons. I wonder how much sense of privacy they'd still have. They lie there, completely oblivious to the scattering of people already walking the streets. As long as they're lying down at a safe corner, with a wall up their backs, they're fine. It was still about six o clock in the morning.

Young Parenthood?
While waiting for the bus to arrive, I waited for the Cubao bus for Cindy and Ice, two of my new officemates. A lot of my groupmates are single parents, who got pregnant at their teens or early twenties. Lud. I know people and have friends who have kids already. And families. And they have troubles waay more than I do. Like diapers. Milk. Tuition. House rent and groceries. Damn. And all I think about's contributing to my immediate family's needs. I can hardly imagine how it is to raise a kid at this day and age. Shit. It's mind boggling.

Reminded me of my convo with dad on the way to work last night. We talked about our neighbors and my friends having kids, getting an oops, and then they're pregnant.

When I was fifteen? Sixteen? we were part of the choir, along with the daughters of some of the board members on our village. In other words, our parents were directors in the subdivision board. Not really a big deal, just that they're relatively high profile here. Our parents, I mean. And when they established the anticipated Sunday mass on Saturday evenings, we became the default choir. Me, my sister, the solo daughters of two others, and another sister team, Fay and Donna.

Fay's about five years older than me, and Donna's sandwiched between me and Chi in age. Now, that's important, because in the context of things, it's always me and Chi against the two of them. Particularly me and Fay. Not anything actively bad, just that there was constant pulling and tugging. Constant friction for the upper hand.

There was this time when I told Fay off (in a gently way, I remember. Although Chi may attest to my automatic bitchiness that I adamantly refuse to admit I do deliberately) that we have responsibilities not just to ourselves, but to our parents. To the community, who looked to us as.. I don't know. That we shouldn't fuck up, in short. She took it in, and then we went home.

Mom got the surprise of her life when Tita called our house to tell her that her daughter (Fay) was bawling at home because of some vile thing I said. Apparently Fay was mortally wounded. But hello I was sixteen, and SHE was twenty-one! Good grief. Whether I was right or not, she's freaking *older* than me! So my mom told Tita off and told her what constitutes as "It's our daughters' business. Don't you think it's up to them, and not for us, to solve this?" Applause for my mom, for saying that on the fly. She only asked me what it was about when she put the phone down. Love you, Mom.

Okay, the point of this regression? The point is, Fay got herself knocked up. And in the worst circumstances available. An asthma attack that led to complications and an abrupt neuro-seizure. Which led to her being comatose and surprise! everyone finding out all of a sudden that she was pregnant and no one knew about it. The father? The choir guitarist.

This is not a rant against teen pregnancy or people finding each other and falling in love. It's a rant against not thinking ahead. Dammit, you knew you were sickly. You *knew* you can't afford to be pregnant and keep quiet about it; not with your health in mind. You *knew* that you were a frail person at the get go. How can you be so careless with your life? And for what? For a few stolen nookies? What the fuck? How monumental is that? A couple of hours of bliss for an epileptic attack at two month's pregnancy, and a comatose state for six months and years and years of physical therapy? Not to mention your child, who was born premature and underweight. The sheer gravity of it is staggering.

And the thing I told Fay about in the beginning, is for her growing infatuation with that guy. The father of her daughter now. Now I think about it, in retrospect. It just bit her in the ass.

I understand you now, Kassandra. It is a curse.

Lammy!
Read Lammy's blog. Am amazed at how much they've seen and gone and got. I can't wait for her mail to arrive. And damn, if I had some money right now I'd send letters to her, Jen, Val and Ei. Bah. I'm going to have to wait for the paycheck. But right now, I can send them happy thoughts. They're cheaper.

Read Am's last LJ entry. And no, I don't have the guts. I simply don't have the guts to even *think* of giving someone that kind of power over me. That opportunity to see me so vulnerable. Damn, but she wrote beautifully.

What do you fear? To hurt someone the way I've hurt him. I don't want to be responsible for someone else's pain that way again. I think it hurt me even more to hurt him, than the fact that I didn't love him as much as it seemed that he loved me. How is that? I've tried to think that over and over in my head, and it doesn't equate. It's not so much as the realization that I can't give back the same amount of love that he had for me. That was a cerebral decision (very clinical, but yes). I think, in the end, I knew that. I was resigned to it. I just resented being pushed to make the decision. To end it. Because I knew. He said it once before: the knowledge that could destroy a person is the knowledge that the person they love can't love them back.

I didn't want to do that. But I had to. In the end, I ended it with as much finesse as blind man on a galloping horse: annoyed, five minutes of pushing, with my dad waiting in the parking lot in the middle of hell week two weeks before finals (in which I failed one class. Sometimes I wonder if it was worth it, when I had to redo the stupid class all over again at Ateneo- another gripe for another story- but, spilled milk) And then the frigid silence in the end, us not talking, me avoiding. Shit. And the silence stretching to, what? Two years? And to twenty minutes of half sentences and careful words.

Was it worth it? When it comes to the sticking point, I don't regret it. Making the choice. It was either I wasn't ready; I didn't want it; I had the jitters; or it wasn't him. In any case, at that moment, I didn't have time to think it through. And when he asked two years later, I only found out the answer once the words came through my lips. I didn't want it. I didn't want it then, and I didn't want it now.

Now I'm fine-tuning what I said. What didn't I want? I don't want to hurt someone the way I hurt him. What makes this worse is that I know how much he could hurt. How easily he could be cut off at the knees. The pain just boomeranged into me, in the end.

:: D said @ 8:58 PM [+] ::
...

Typing this out and saving it to the hard drive because my family's turned Gollum on me and it's either I can't use the computer, or I can't use it in tandem with the phone. Most often than not, my sister's on the phone with whoever it is she's yakking with. I wonder who in hell she's talking to now when she talked with someone or other last night. Not to mention the numerous phone calls she gets on her cell (in the middle of the night, mind you). Weird.

Anyway, instead of getting pissed, I grabbed the chance and wrote this down before I forgot what happened last night. But first I wanna rant about the fact that I can't bloody sleep I've been staring at the ceiling, getting a comfortable position but I can't blinking sleep. Gah. It's pointless. So now, I've been up five hours before work, and I'm facing nine hours of training. Not to mention I slept at 2 in the morning and woke up at 8, to go to mass. I went to bed 11am and woke up at three pm. A very uncomfortable sleep. Argh.

So now on to the concert.

Preparing So if you want to read on to the concert part, might as well skip this.

Mom sweet-talked Dad into driving me and Chi to CCP that afternoon. We told Chi that we'd pick her up at work and we'd be heading there. Dad knows people in the Intramuros area and Mom suggested that maybe he'd like to visit his billiard friends there. Hehe. Sometimes it's advantageous that Dad has a lot of friends in lots of tambayan places. Hee.

May and her officemate, Miggot (sp?) went ahead and she texted me that they were there about 7.30pm. But we had numbered seats, so I wasn't too bothered. Besides, Duncan was the main act and there were two other performers. Although I wanted to watch the other two guys too, but you know what I mean.

We were surprised at the developments near the bay. They made it a boardwalk with tented cafes and grills every so often. It was a nice, not to mention affordable, gimmick place. And the lights were very nice. If I had a car, I'd most definitely think of hanging out there. Looks nice a nice place to bring acoustic gig acts there too. Maybe Chi would know some people.

Arrival

Got to the venue about ten to eight. The ticket showed that the concert would start at eight, but instead of showing us to the place, we were ushered to a 'Waiting Area'. Which was the lower level waiting area. We didn't know where May was, so while waiting for her text, Chi and I moved around. We saw a couple of people from school. That wasn't so surprising (lol). There were cd's being sold, and posters, and promo people giving free coffee samples and flyers. Hehe I can't believe an autograph would lead to buying us tickets.

Got May's text. She told us they were near the Girl's Room. When I got to her, I told her, "Dude, what are you doing at the loo?" She introduced us to Minggot, who's this cheerful, bubbly girl. I've met her when I visited May's office awhile back to get my passport application. It figures that May'd be good friends with her. She's just like us. Hehe. Loud, enthusiastic, witty, sharp as a knife. Very cool girl. And with her credentials, very cool, kick-ass girl.

We hung about till around 8.15 or so, and then the line formed somewhere near the exits. As if on cue, people started moving to form the line. There wasn't any rush, anyway, coz most of the people at the 'waiting area' had numbered seats. We got to our seats after about five minutes of shuffling to the line, moving up the stairs and entering the auditorium. It was huge, and I was impressed because it looked well maintained. Chi almost bought herself a seat at the very front. But the very front edge of the stage. I told her if she got those seats chances are, she'd be facing the giant speakers. I was right. Good thing she didn't get that seat, coz the speakers were big-ass huge.

Our seats were right next to each other, so the seating was Minggot, May, me and Chi.

Game on Paolo Santos

Paolo Santos came on first. People started cheering when the lights dimmed and performers started moving to the stage. In fairness, the guy's good. He plays well, and he has a great voice; sounding like Jason Mraz (which was good, because he played Mraz's The Remedy). The downside of it, if there is any, is that he's *thin*. When he sings, his cheeks hollow out. I mean, the guy needs to be thicker you know?

And then he was wearing a polo shirt with the top button still buttoned up. I resisted the urge to want to unbutton the damn thing.

If you could download the guy, I suggest you should. He plays really well, and he's gaining popularity here.

As far as I remember, he played two of his own songs, Stevie Wonder's Overjoyed, Moonlight over Paris, and something else I don't recall, but Chi does.

Rockwell Ryan of Stephen Speaks

Rockwell Ryan came on next, to the delight of the shrieking fan group at the front row. It was nice, because there were some people he acknowledged at the front row whom he knew. I think they're actual fans from their first concert here (more info about this group: www.stephenspeaks.com Their single, Passenger Seat made it big enough here that the whole band came over to play a couple of months back.), and one of them held up a banner that said Rockwell Ryan Rocks. Smart girls. He was with another band member, Dain (forgot his last name).

He kidded around with the audience, singing a bit of Richard Marx (forgot the song. Argh. Memory), but mistaking him for Karl Marx. The audience started to correct him, and that was a light moment. "Karl Marx-? Right. Oh. What? Richard Marx. *Right* I'm sorry. Coz Karl Marx's the founder of Communism. Okay. Thanks for making me feel stupid." But he was laughing.

He sang I Don't Want To Sing, which is the first song from his solo album. It was so sweet coz he wrote his song for his girlfriend, when they were 15 hours apart from each other. Very nice. He sang Passenger Seat with Paolo doing backup. He also played Sunshine, which was SO cute, because the refrain's:

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

I am *definitely* going to download his version of it. I'm sure that there's going to be a bootleg soon in a couple of days. Now I don't know if it's a Stephen Speaks song or one he made or whatever. It was *so* cute. It was even cuter because I remember Elijah Wood singing that in Forever Young. (If you read my fic, you'd know what I mean. Hehe) Very nice.

He also did the first few stanzas of Britney Spears' Hit Me Baby One More Time, which was another funny moment. I like that he establishes rapport with the crowd. There was a point there that he said too bad his whole band wasn't there, because they were told it was going to be an "Acoustic Night" (complete with air quotes). "And then I saw Duncan with his whole band.. (laughter) I was kinda mad about that"

Then he sang Edwin McCain's I'll Be, which the crowd absolutely went crazy for.

Intermission

There was a fifteen minute intermission and people started moving into the empty seats. May and Ming went to the comfort room and Chi and I were left at our seats. When we saw people moving to the empty section at the middle, I went ahead and reserved seats. Chi stayed behind to wait for May and Ming to come back. There was a bit of a scare a couple of times when the ushers moved in and out of the aisles, looking like they were going to boot people out of their unassigned seats. I figure I would just put on my bitch face and tell them to make me if they asked me to move.

One weird part about the intermission was that two of the sexy stars here, Katya and Maui Taylor, came in with their dates and moved to sit a couple of seats away from us. I saw the looks on the other guys' faces. It was funny. Guys, your tongues are on the floor. Please pick them up

The announcer told us that the intermission's about to end, and to take our seats. May and Ming came back and Chi waved them over to the new seats and I had a big grin on my face. We had seats smack in the middle with a great view of the stage.

Okay now the playlist is a blur, and I must admit I'm not familiar with all his songs (bad!). But they were pretty good. I'm sure May and Ming knew the titles. I was just happy to hear his sound. He had to tune his guitars before each song, and that gave a little time for him to adlib or chat with the audience. There was one point where someone screamed, You're so cute! He stopped, and then muttered at the mic, You're so much cuter It was cute that he seemed embarrassed.

And then someone yelled <>POGI!! People started adding to it and saying "pogi" too. He stopped and said, wait, wait. Translate please He seemed so flustered when people told him it meant handsome. He even forgot some of the opening lyrics to the song he sang after it. There was this time when he said that it was bad that it was their last night and they have to leave as soon as the concert was over. Someone in the crowd yelled Bite your tongue! and he had to laugh.

They played a cover of Oasis' Wonderwall and Radiohead's Plastic Trees Great stuff. People went wild when he played On a High, Half Life and Barely Breathing They, rather, we, went near to the stage where everyone was dancing. People started bringing out their camera-phones, their little IXUS' and tiny cams. I think maybe they were blown away with how many cameras got smuggled in. Since the camera's incorporated into the phone, they can't bloody well confiscate it, right? And there were a host of Nokia 7650's, 3650's and 7250's (to see what I'm talking about, go to www.nokia.com) clicking away. I went up to about ten feet to his right (lol very groupie-like?)

May later on told me that she went up to where I was too, and took a pic of Duncan, even standing beside/behind me. I don't remember her standing behind me. All I know's that they stayed behind when I went down. I tried to call Meg to let her hear Duncan singing, but her phone wouldn't pick up Damn woman already was asleep. Then I tried calling Jem. Same thing. So I called Teena.

===================================
will continue another day. It's too blooming long

:: D said @ 7:43 PM [+] ::
...

Quizilla Galore


LOVE is your chinese symbol!


What Chinese Symbol Are You?
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-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
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You are Psychic!


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your bitch.


What swear word are you?
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You are the typical feminist, depressed, artist.
You go against the crowd and do everything you
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Try communicating with people, not just looking
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What kind of typical high school character from a movie are you?
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The Lost Soul


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Hah! I got Trinity! I got Trinity! *hops up and down*

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What Matrix Persona Are You?
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:: D said @ 3:21 AM [+] ::
...

Tickets!

Because of the excitement over Duncan Sheik, my sister and I ended up buying tickets for his show. We vacillated a long time, till May came over. We checked her seat number, and checked out available seats. There were four seats available on May's row! Wow! How great is that! We're going to be seated next to each other. ;)

From emails
from Jen:
17. Storms - cool or scary? Cool, as long as I don't have to run a relay race in them (aluminum batons+lightning=bad idea)

LOL Jen I never thought about it that way. But since you're a runner, it makes sense!

Dude, May, I can't believe you got your birthday wrong!

Dad's cleaning again
Which is a bad sign. Everytime he does that, the inevitable result's going to be him muttering and telling US that the house isn't clean enough, or whatever, to his exacting requirements. Pfft. Duh.

Since he was the LAST person who used the computer yesterday before six of the transistors in the motherboard fried, he's been pretty defensive about it.

:: D said @ 6:22 PM [+] ::
...

I SAW DUNCAN SHEIK!! I SAW DUNCAN SHEIK!!

The day started out hectic enough. But by one I was at Meg's office, hanging out. I gave her her carnations, and we had a bit of a chat. Then went to Amber to meet up with old coworkers for their lunchbreak. Gave out the yellow carnations. I think there's going to be a house party at Mike's sometime soon.

By three, Chi called me to tell me that she was already in the mall, so I had to say goodbye.

I got into the elevator, and the piped in music was Duncan Sheik's album. Which was not surprising, because he was supposed to be billeted at the Discovery Suites (that building). I remember thinking to myself what if I see him today? and then feeling bad coz I didn't get to buy tickets for his concert.

I stepped out of the elevator and got out into the street, crossing into the Podium on my way to Megamall. As I was heading to the exit, I saw this Caucasian guy coming down from the escalator with another guy, and two Filipinos (a guy and a girl). Then they headed to the exits, so they were about three to four meters away from me.

I looked and the guy looked sorta like Duncan Sheik, but since we were going the same way, I told myself I had time to stare at the back of his head and try to figure it out. I mean, his videos and his posters show him as a guy with dark features: dark hair, dark eyes, dark eyebrows. It didn't show him to be somewhat pinkish, you know what I mean? Him in real life doesn't look so 'defined', or something. So, it was pretty difficult to tell at the get go.

But he looked like Duncan Sheik. But since the area's a hub for foreign businessmen, I had to make sure. I wanted him to speak, or hear him speak. If he sounded German, or if he had an accent, well, it wouldn't be him. He was wearing this gray, long sleeved sweater/shirt, very comfortable jeans with torn/ripped cutoffs and worn sneakers. Regular-person clothes. ;) He was with another foreigner: glasses, quarter-inch hair, polo with a white shirt underneath and a backpack. The two Filipinos were behind them, but not joining the conversation. They looked like they might be people from the recording company tasked to babysit.

Anyway, we got out of the Podium, with me texting my sister, May and Meg furiously that I'm three meters away from a 'guy who looks incredibly like Duncan Sheik. What do I DO?? Got out of Podium, and passed through another building on the way to Megamall. Got out, then crossed the street. I was already rummaging my bag for my pen, and thinking wildly where to get decent paper.

It's now or never, it's now or never, dammit!! went the voice in my head. But I only had the brown envelope that Annie gave me for her friends' band's portfolio. The post-it in my bag would look too small, not to mention stupid. And I think asking him to write on me might be a bit of a shock (for me).

I took my chance when we went through the checkpoint. Since he went through first on the Male line, and the girl and I were the only ones on the Female que, we got through the guard checkup first. So, he had to stop and wait for the other two guys.

With a big grin on my face, I approached him.

Me: Excuse me. I'm sorry. But I just really have to ask..
DS: (with a big grin on his face) Yeah?
Me: Are you Duncan Sheik?
DS: Yes.
Me:Oh my God! (puts out hand to shake) Hi! Welcome to the Philippines! Wow!
DS: (he shook my hand and was very nice about it. Hi. (I think he might have said 'nice to meet you' but I may be hallucinating. All I could hear was the buzzing in my ear)
Me:Hi. I love your music! Uhm. My friends would never believe I'd met you. If you don't mind, um, can I have your autograph?
DS: Sure. (he patted around his pockets for a pen, and I whipped out mine. Ever the Girl Scout, eh?)
Me:Uhm. Paper. I'm sorry (I know I looked sheepish by now. I didn't have paper except that brown envelope thing.)
DS: Okay. What's your name?
Me: (gave him my name, and spelled it out)
DS:
Me: I didn't get a chance to buy tickets for your show, but my friends are watching and I'm sure they're going to have a great time.

I think he said thanks and I *think* I may have shook his hand again, but after that convo, my mind went blank. Next thing I know I was holding the envelope walking away fast before I did something goofy like jump or squeal. *rolls eyes* I texted a whole lot of people, then I called May when I was in the Toy Kingdom area. I don't think she'd have gotten the freaking out text telling her that I met and got the guy's autograph. So we were jumping up and down over at our respective locations. I can almost imagine her freaking the people at her office. I tried hard not to look weird coz I was standing outside Mister Donuts, waiting for my sister to come. We were supposed to meet at Mr Donut's.

After I got off the phone with May, I tried calling Chi. But she wasn't answering her damn phone. It kept on ringing and then the last time, she turned my call off.

People started texting me back. Lol. I don't think my phone's ever been so busy in my recollection. Hehe. Then the people at Mr Donuts were giving me the eye: I was in the store not buying anything, so I got up and lined up to buy.

Chi called me, breathless and freaking out too. She just got my text and felt it was safe enough to bring her phone out now. I told her to come over and not waste her credits. She came in, wild eyed and excited, and we talked.

May texted me and she talked about cutting class. Lol. We met up with her a couple of hours later when Chi was rummaging for clothes at Cinderella. Saw her killer boots, and I resisted the urge to cackle. Well, I tried to, but it came out: I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog, too! Lol. We talked about work, about our fics, and how useless it wouldve been for her to still go to class if the teacher's going to be 2 hours late for a three-hour class. So instead, she cut and sent someone else from her class to represent her at the Class President's Meeting at law school. (turns out that the class didn't push through. I sometimes wonder if May has a lucky charm tattooed up her butt. Lucky duck).

:: D said @ 6:13 PM [+] ::
...

See what Care Bear you are.

:: D said @ 6:09 PM [+] ::
...

Tatu and the Charmed song
Oh good grief. I love that song. I love it. I just heard Tatu sing it and it sounds like the Chipmunks. The instrumentals are fine. The vocals are awful.

Origami Flowers
Finished off fifteen yellow carnations. Man, I must be bored. I miss my training group at the other office though, coz they're a good bunch. They've been keeping in touch and they've always told me they miss me. Argh. Adding to the guilt factor.

I'm trying my hand at the hyacinths. Pretty good results so far. It all depends on the kind of paper you use, I think. There's this one that's pretty stable and holds it's shape. But it's thick. I wanted to use the yellow one but it just collapses in on it's shape. If I had a camera, I'd take pictures.

:: D said @ 9:00 PM [+] ::
...

All alone in the house. Went to get my NBI clearance yesterday. Pretty quick, if I do say so myself. Mom's away visiting people. Bry's at school. Dad's working on his project and Chi's at work.

:: D said @ 1:48 AM [+] ::
...

Took Door #2.

:: D said @ 7:27 PM [+] ::
...

Okay. I'm torn, right? Because I've heard conflicting stories. I didn't go to work yesterday because I had an interview elsewhere. It turned out well, and I met up with Emil, a college classmate. They said I'd be called tonight, definitely, which was okay.

Now I hear from another person (Darwin) that he was offered an insanely high price to work there. Unless he's lying (which is a possibility), I'd rather go to company #2, because they pay really really well. Now I hear from Emil that the pay might not be what I want. I mean, hindi sulit kung kukunin ko yun.

I'm in the halfway point. I was absent yesterday, and I can't afford to be absent two days in a row, or else that'd mean that I'd be terminated. Now, I don't know how much company #2 will offer. I have a floor price image in my head, that if they can't make, I won't take it. But Darwin's saying that they offered more than that.

So what annoys me right now is that I'm telling my mother, right? And she goes on telling me what I should've done, what I could've said, etc etc. It's counterproductive, because it's done, and she keeps on yapping about it. I don't DWELL on what happened, because there's no point. And now she stresses that I shoulda talked about compensation, etc etc when I was there, that I was already employed elsewhere, yada yada. What's the point, when that was y-e-s-t-e-r-d-a-y? I was so annoyed. I mean, get over that, and help me with what I can do now, not what I should have done. I think I was pretty short with her, but I don't care. She needs to know that I don't need regret stuff when my thoughts should be thinking on what I should be doing NOW.

I have a test about stuff on the manual later. Thank goodness for Google and the Internet. I can still review without the manual. But, SHIT, I need to figure out a way to wiggle out of later because the job offer's at four. I have to leave training at three.

Friends and atmosphere-wise, I'm already doing well at the office. Just that, of course, I have to look out for Number One here. More money always means more savings for me. I don't even care that the work's going to be a bit harder, just that I want to be able to have more wiggle room to help my family.

:: D said @ 2:27 PM [+] ::
...

Need to bloody finish the next chapter. Argh. Dad needs to use the computer, so I'll just let him use it and then I'll work on it early morning.

Yakked up a storm with May earlier.

It was raining pretty hard awhile back. So hard that I went out and danced in the rain. Well, dance may be too poetic, but I went ahead and got myself thoroughly soaked on purpose. I loved it.

:: D said @ 8:41 AM [+] ::
...

We won! We won!

I can't believe we ran the whole Ortigas center course. My muscles are all cramped and sore but it felt good. Made me wish I ran more often.

Hey, looky what I found:


Which Fanfiction Term Are You?
a quiz from pot and staffs

:: D said @ 5:03 PM [+] ::
...

Blah. Note to self. Don't blog when you're sleepy.

:: D said @ 12:40 PM [+] ::
...

Last day of Policies training. Tomorrow we'll have the Amazing Race, plus the company-sponsored dinner.

Went to Annie's house after training. We kept on ribbing her for being rich (hehe). Very down to earth girl. Had to stop our jaws from dropping when we saw her house. All that ribbing couldn't even compare. But it's great that's she's so down to earth.

Small World

She has a pool table in her house, and she had a group of friends over aside from us. They were the performers at Salo, the dinner thing we're going to. Very nice people. Found out that Wilma aka Liam was also another Bridgetine, two batches below me. That makes three of us in the same training group. Then the trainor's a girl one batch higher than me in college. Just goes to show that the world's a small place. We can't screw up because one way or other someone's going to know someone who knows you.

Eek!

Sort-of interesting guy at the office listens to.. guess what? The same radio stations all my crushes listen to! Aaargh! *tears hair out* It's a curse, I tell you! A curse!

The JenWalk works after all

Was kinda surprised that some of the girls told me that their impression of me is that I'm a girl with a strong personality. I mean, I have this 'attitude' I carry around even on the first day of training, our first day of meeting. That was the first thing that came to mind. I guess the JenWalk actually works! I've only become conscious of how I walk when I started watching Alias: ground-eating strides, chest out, look as if you can kick ass if someone pisses you off. I also read something on an Alias-fanfic: the easiest way to look as if you're in charge is look if you're doing what you're NOT supposed to be doing. And minimal talking.

Now I don't know what the hell that means. The 'attitude' thing, you see. Liam, Eli and I found out we're all Scorpios and Liam said something to the effect that it made sense that I was a Scorpio coz I had 'such a strong personality'. Hmm. Ate Aubrey also said that to the class when she gave an impromptu speech about her 'getting to know you' buddy (me). Strong personality. It's a whole lot of gray, doncha think? On the one hand, that could be good because people know that I mean what I say, and I don't screw around. It could be bad in that I can be viewed as a threat. Or people'd think I was an overkill of personality, you know? That I could be smothering. I don't know.

We wont the pizza thing yesterday because I took down notes. Now I hear people joking around about wanting me in their team (for the Am Race), or pirating me, or kidnapping me so I wouldn't have to compete. I mean, it's cool and all, but it's a bit unnerving. I don't want to be unnoticed, but I don't want to be shiny and sticking out too much, you know?

Inevitable questions

I have a carpool! And I was blessed with a carpool of people with different backgrounds and personalities. It's fun to watch them and observe them, actually. It was inevitable that people talk about the easiest and most convenient thing: sex, love life, relationships. Me: none, none, none, respectively. Oh, I've had my share of things, but really not anything as exciting as the others claim theirs to be. Certainly one of the girls on the team has had SUCH a colorful lovelife that her lamentations about her relationships just really suck. Anyway, they asked me what kind of guy I liked, and they asked why I've never had a boyfriend yet. *rolls eyes*

To begin with, is it SO abnormal not to have had a boyfriend?? It's not that I'm picky, for Pete's sake. They said that maybe I was pihikan, the word for 'choosy' over here. Number One: I've never really been active in the social scene. It's not because of choice, although most of it's that way. It's because of logistics: I don't drink, I don't smoke. I live quite a distance from the city. I don't have a car of my own. Going to places like that's just too damn expensive. I don't live that lifestyle. Blah blah blah. I'm a bookworm and a nerd, I have to admit.

Back to story. They asked me what traits I look for in a guy. And to be honest, it's hard to pinpoint exact stuff that'll hook my attention. I know there are interest triggers: glasses, hands, taste in music.. books.. movies. In the end I told them that it was hard to give any specifics. Just that I was more in danger of falling for my friends than just some guy I've only met.

I guess in that respect, my life's boring, huh?

An insight to the gossiper's psyche?

Like the bawling periods in my High School Retreats, office atmosphere's no different. The more 'exciting' your life's supposed to be, the more you hold your 'audience'. So since I was a (1)virgin, (2)had never had a boyfriend, (3)have a normal life and upbringing, I don't get to 'talk' about those stuff. Hm. You have Anna, whose family life and married life is an open book. And Al, who has this martyred relationship with her two-timing bastard of a boyfriend who's 13 years older than her. There's Lia, who's a model. And Ellie, who also has a relationship with a stupid boyfriend

:: D said @ 9:54 AM [+] ::
...

My group won a pizza (for Friday? Monday?) because we were the first to finish completing an eight-sentence paragraph cut into phrases on pieces of paper. Because I take down notes and people don't. Hehe. I think maybe it's automatic for me to take down notes. In any case, I can't slack off, coz the trainor's from my school. We're only one batch apart, and I know that she knows me.

Friday, we have a company sponsored dinner thing (cool!). We'll also have an Amazing Race kind of activity that day. Getting all hyped up and excited. :D

At the end of the month, we'd have 'graduation' from training. Another dinner. Hehe. I'm starting to kinda like this company. :D

:: D said @ 3:36 PM [+] ::
...

Got home at 9. Training was 11am-8pm. Good thing we've arranged a car pool. We're still looking at how we can help out with the gas, as we'd be riding Noel's car the whole time. :D

I don't know why, but I was dead tired when I got home. I got to my room, took off my shoes, plopped into bed on top of the covers and promised myself I'd only be taking a nap. That was at 9. I woke back up at one in the morning, took a shower, then went back to bed.

:: D said @ 4:12 PM [+] ::
...