:: Tears of the Moon ::

:: Sunday, August 31, 2003 ::

streaks in..

That's it! I got the song title! It's Lie Low. She sang that one too.

The Filipino Fellowship meets once again.

I plopped into bed after showering when I got home from the Plumb concert. Got up at about 7.45am, when Mom woke me up for mass. I figured that I'd dress, go to mass, and head to Megamall straight after mass. So I stocked my bag and headed out with Mom.

Patalastas..
Tita Chuchi died in Mexico. Rest in peace, Tita Chuchi. The choir's going to split costs for the mass card and flowers. I volunteered to buy flowers, on my way home Tuesday, and Chette's going to buy the mass card. We sang a couple of mass songs that Tita Chuchi loved to have heard, including the Song of Ruth, which we know to be something everyone will remember her by.

Headed to Mega after mass, hitched a ride with Selena's family to the gate.

We all congregated at the entrance to Powerbooks. I think it was the biggest EB we've ever had. Eleven people, including three new ones to the madness (Linds, Cam and Pao). And we had more cameras this time around. May brought hers, Gill had a digital doodad that I wanted (Sony Cybershot! Whee!), and Cam bought a prof-looking one that had retractable lens. :) We opted for the 1pm showing for POTC, and since it was already 11am, we ate lunch at Yoshinoya, the new Japanese fast food place.

As usual, I pigged out with the combo meal (great beef strip things, chicken with teriyaki sauce, veggies, and rice. Yuum. And Miso soup!). We occupied a loong table fit for twelve (me, May, Teena, Jersh, Gill, Abby, Andie, Cam, Pao, Linds, Jem). We would've wanted to have seen more, but it was the largest group we've had (we were eight when we watched A Walk To Remember). Gill uploaded pictures. Will try to get them posted.



Just squint.

Anyway. Watched POTC with the girls (and one guy). Talked about FF, and the TV shows we watch. Talked about the ones who weren't there *coughMegandXancough*

Audible sighing and scream-stifling when OB came out. Lol. I think Cam and Pao were giggling whenever that happened. I told Cam beforehand that she should be prepared for FF EBs like these. It's always a riot.

I held the seats while the others got popcorn and drinks. It was sort of hard to do, because I had to wave people away, telling them that yes, the whole *row* is reserved. Then they come in with hardplastic tumblers for POTC. Of course I had to go down and line up for my own, right? Lalo na nung nakita ko na pati yung popcorn containers eh POTC din! :lol:

Twas the first time I ate through a tub of popcorn (ten percent of it I kept on throwing at Teena and May). We got out, I looked for the trash guy, and dumped the rest of the popcorn in it. The others never got to finish theirs, so they took it home. Anyway, I cut out the OB/Johnny Depp/Kiera Knightley squares. Geoffrey Rush, while he was great, I can afford to fold out, so that the cardboard would fit in my bag.

After the movie, as per usual, we took pictures of ourselves (see above), trying very hard not to look too silly (well hell, we already DID look silly). But it was fun.

:: D said @ 3:29 PM [+] ::
...

Mildly hysterical?

I have a cousin who had childhood epilepsy. She's recovered, but then of course, the scare's always at the back of our minds that one of us'll have it down the line without us knowing it. My dad always kidded that because I react so much, that I have the tendency to get mildly hysterical. I feel normal, but I think they think I'm sort of out of it when I get into the mood. Case in point:

We watched Plumb in concert last Saturday night. Okay, I have to say, I have extremes of emotion when it comes to things I love (and hate). She came up on stage and I screamed along with the fans. Music's always been something that called out to me. If I had a stronger, louder voice, I think I would've made use of it by singing, or I would've struggled to write songs. But I don't. I can sing, I can carry a tune, but I lack volume. Anyway.

I'm not afraid to show my reaction when I love something. A new song, a really good song, a cute guy (eek! Orlando!), a great book, a good movie. So, when I listen to songs I like, I dance to them, headbang when the beat calls for it. Plumb came on singing Real and I felt the sting of tears at the back of my eyes. She sang Here With Me and we jumped and rocked to the refrain. There's something amazing when you listen to the artist sing their songs in front of you. What an incredible gift, to put to music things you feel inside. To express them and have others relate to what you write, and have them tell you back that the song spoke to him/her.

I guess that's my way of being high. I don't smoke, I don't drink. I don't go to loud parties where people get boozed up. That's not my adrenaline rush. Instead I play music loud on my earphones and rock to them. I read books. I watch good movies and nitpick on the different aspects of them. I pick word swordfights. I watch movies with friends. I have coffee once in a while and spend two hours trying to write while people walk in and out of the cafe. I go outside on clear night skies to watch the stars twinkle and map their way across the black canvas.

When I encounter something bone deep beautiful, I feel a tingling crawling up my arms, rushing to slam against the back of my forehead and I mentally see white.

I love it when I meet someone I connect with. With just the small stuff ("Hey, you listen to their music too?"). It gives me hope that there are people who share like me, even for little things in common.

I presold a telescope to this lady who brought her family with her to the science toy store I love to go to. I've been lusting to buy one of the telescopes there. And with the Mars mania, I've heard a lot of people saying they wanted to see it. Anyway, I was in the store, while Chi went to the ladies' room. The lady comes up to the store clerk to ask to look at the telescope. She asked him if it was too late to watch Mars.

Being a store clerk, what the hell does he know? The thing about having a unique hobby, is the joy of sharing them with those who're interested. So I couldn't resist and turned to her and said, "No, it's not too late. It's just that August 27 was the nearest it's ever going to be for us." There's still time to watch them up until September.

She turned to me with a happy look in her eyes and she asked me stuff about astronomy, which I was only too happy to tell. My family hears about it enough, and my friends. She could see Mars' southern ice caps with that telescope, on a clear night. She asked me if I saw it, and I said yes. Did I own the place? Sheepishly, I said no, but I said that astronomy's a hobby for me. Then she asked me what kind of telescope I had. I told her I had something cheaper than the one they were checking out (not to mention that it got stolen when the house was ransacked..), but I was saving up to buy that particular model. But with the one I had, I was able to see Jupiter's two red bands and it's four moons. And Saturn's rings. And Venus, sometimes.

She simply goggled when we were talking. Lol, I think she was more interested in buying the thing than her seven year old son, whom she kept on prodding "Luis (people in Rockwell name their kids rich-sounding Spanish/Italian names like Luigi, Juan Miguel, Gabriel, as befits their noveau-riche status), do you want to see the moons of Jupiter?" The store clerk looked like he struck gold. The blasted telescope cost about P6.5 k. The dad came in after looking at the store window and I heard the woman ask her husband if he had the (credit) card with him. Chi came to the store, and we had to go. Before I left, I turned to the lady and told her good luck with the purchase, and have fun watching the sky. She gave me a big smile and said thank you. An hour later we saw the family walking around with the telescope.

I've always heard of astronomers having a giddy sense of sharing when it comes to their hobby. A big part of astronomy, for me, is the sense of seeing the universe move in front of my eyes. And that I could see the planets, so far away, but visible on my eyepiece. It's an otherworldly film viewing, and it's cheap.

Another bonus of being an astronomer, is when people find out about it, and you share it with them. There's nothing like seeing the light in kid's (or older folks) eyes when you tell them what you've seen, and what's coming up in the night sky. I went to a despedida party once and people were already out heading for their cars to go home. I stood outside staring at the sky, looking at Leo, and May asked me what the matter was. I pointed it out to her, and it ended up with everyone staying for longer than they intended to, because of the impromptu stargazing class. I love it. And they look at you like wow, I learned something incredible today. It's a rush of blood to the head.

Hm. I get mildly hysterical-? I don't know. What I do know is that I love. Or maybe others are just more restrained than they should allow themselves to be. We took pictures at the theater after watching POTC, and I streaked in front of Gill's viewfinder to have a picture of me and Jersh in front of the Orlando Bloom poster. Stuff like that. I mean, give in to it, rather than regret not doing it later on. And, what have you got to lose? If you bottle things up inside, you implode.

:: D said @ 1:46 PM [+] ::
...

On a Plumb high

Went to watch the Plumb concert at the Rockwell tent. I had a long weekend ahead of me, so as soon as the shift ended (6am), I went to Mega to wait till the mall opened. 6-10 eating breakfast, having coffee. Didn't get any good writing down, except for maybe to ruminate a whole lot; stared at passersby. I read somewhere that it's good to be alone once in a while. Good for the soul; and it tells you that you don't have to crave being in a crowd to still be yourself. I had my little radio with me, so I listened to music while I was letting my thoughts percolate.

The mall opened at ten, and I got us tickets for the 8.30pm thing. Dad's birthday's coming up in two weeks (eek!) Should we buy them date tickets for something? Hmm. We'll see.

They're holding the International Bookfair at the fifth floor, so of course, I had to go and look. There were a couple of Meteor Garden stuff being sold at the department store too. Anyway, I got two books from the Sinag-Tala books that I've always been searching for, got to snag some free mags at the Time, Newsweek and Reader's Digest booths. The guys we bought the subscription from last year were there, and we chatted a little. The Roman missal was being sold at a discount, so maybe we could buy that as a Christmas gift for Mom down the road.

Had my hair cut and styled, finally. The batt ran out, but not until I got Chi's text telling me she'd meet me at Mega. Note, I've been awake since 6pm the day before. I had planned to go buy tickets, have a haircut, go home, take a couple of hours' sleep, then go to the concert with Chi.

Chi got to the hair place just as I was stepping out, ate lunch, played catch up with our lives. We live in the same house, but we kept different hours. I work graveyard, and she works daytime. Even our sleeptimes differ, so we never get to catch up with each other, even during dinnertime (which is to me, my breakfast). I missed that.

Xav (one of our friends) was also going to watch the concert with his brother, and he was already at Rockwell, so we headed there at about four to meet up with him. I was starting to feel the fatigue of being up for about twenty hours, that I leaned my head against Chi's shoulder and closed my eyes on the jeepney ride to the place.

Plumb was having a cd signing at O in Rockwell, and Xav said he was gonna be there, so we went. We saw the line, and in the excitement bought a cd for her to sign. She signed the cd, the cd jacket and the poster that came with buying the cd (yay!). Chi didn't want to be part of the line, so she and Xav held my bag, etc as I got up to the table to ask Tiffany to sign the stuff.

She was very, very nice. The thing I really noticed that her hair was beautifully corkscrewed. You don't see hair like that here, dark brown with tints of amber at the edges and naturally twisty the way you can't replicate with a machine. She had deep set eyes that made me think this woman thinks deep dreams. And they were somewhere between teal and blue. Very defined features. Very sketchable. Preferably in coal.

I've always liked her music, but Real's the one that really hit me straight to the bone. On one of her radio interviews she said she never really knew how big her songs were, over here. I think four songs from her previous album made it to the charts, or at least people know about (Stranded, Here With Me, Worlds Collide, Damaged and some other that she sang but as of this typing I'm struggling to remember). When Jennifer Paige came over with Stranded as part of her album, she got a bit of flack when she intro'd the song like "This song is from a band named Plumb.." I was there, and people's faces were "Yeah, we *know*" Lol.

Anyway, I really didn't intend to buy the CD, but it had Real in it, and Plumb was there to sign cd's, so we bought it and I told her how much I loved the song, and that she enjoy her stay. "Good luck and have fun on your concert tonight." "Are you coming?" "Yes, of course. We're going to try to be at the very front row" "Great!" Very nice person. :)

Xav's brother, John, hadn't arrived so the three of us ate dinner at a Chinese restaurant in Rockwell (smell the air. That's the smell of the pretentious spending money. As if the Philippines wasn't poor enough. Blah). I saw the family I presold the telescope to walking around with the telescope already. Giddy.

We got in, with the wrist ticket band things, to get inside the P800-section. May, you should've come. *g* Five minutes before the performance, the voice over announced that the show was about to start, and people surged forward. We got good 'seats', as it were, and we ended up one person away from the front railing. And smack in front of Plumb. Oh yeah.

Barbie's Cradle opened for Plumb, with about three or four songs. Barbie's such a pretty girl, with a dainty girlie voice (as compared to the Gwen Stefani's hard rocking voice). I think she could use a little more oomph to her voice, to give it more impact. But then their songs are more happy now (due to her spiritual epiphany), so the chipper girlie voice works. The dj's from RT came up to warm up the crowd. By that time, everyone was standing and it was a packed place.

Plumb came up and people went insane. It was deafening, the way people screamed. She's always said that the response from here was surprising, coz we knew her songs and all that (her previous album's incredibly hard to find. Argh. They sold out two weeks ago. Damn it).

I knew I should've took down the playlist *shakes head*. They opened with Boys Don't Cry, the second single from the album after Real. They sang all the songs from the new album, and a couple from the old one. When they sang Stranded, people just simply went crazy. Hell, I went crazy. Lol. They looked stunned with the (screaming) reaction they got. The drummer even took out a camera once in a while to snap pictures of the crowd (we'd wave back). When people screamed at the beginning strains of Stranded, he stood up with hands out, his expression as if telling the band "See, didn't I tell you?" Jennifer Paige came over last year and did a cover of Stranded on her new album and people who knew the original singer went wtf? (like me) when we heard the JPaige version.

I ran out of battery for my cellphone, so I tried calling May (over and over, as I recall) for Real, Stranded, Here With Me, but she wasn't answering (I knew the answer the day after). We usually call each other up for the music whenever one of us watches a concert or something.

There was a funny moment when she played Nice, Naive and Beautiful. She forgot some of the words to the song. Hee. They played Real and it was beautiful. I don't have enough words to describe it.

They played Here With Me at the encore. It just rocked. Simply rocked. It doesn't mean anything without you here with me. And I can try to justify without you here with me.

We were still a bit dazed when it ended. There was a bit of screaming when the drummer came out on the stage to throw his towel or whatnot at the crowd who stayed behind (to wait for the exits to clear). He took pictures of the crowd (again), and gave the bouncers reason to justify their paychecks, with the commotion that ensued. She threw the long black ribbon on her arm at the crowd. Since we were on the very front row, we scrambled for it. And came out with three other hands determined to NOT let go. *rolleyes* Good thing I had my cutter in my back pocket (Why do I have a cutter in my back pocket? Lol). I told them to hold on to their pieces and we'll cut it up. Good enough. We have a five-inch piece of the ribbon which we're putting in the album with the (autographed) jacket and the (autographed) cd. Hee.

:: D said @ 1:45 PM [+] ::
...

I've heard John Mayer's new song, Bigger Than My Body. Very niiice. I want to get the new cd nownow. *cough*

Your Body is a Wonderland Sigh.

My sister's as annoying as ever. What else is new?

Theresa and I are having dinner to catch up, on Monday. No work for me. US Labor Day. Yay!

The weekend looks tiring (to say the least). Saturday evening, Chi and I will be watching Plumb. Sunday afternoon, I'll be watching POTC with the Filipino Fellowship at Megamall. We'll probably end up till late that afternoon (what else is new there? Lol). Monday afternoon, we have a GA/party at work, and dinner with Nerds.

Hmm. I know I wanted to write something.. It just keeps slipping my mind.

Oh yeah. Mars.

I've been waiting and praying and praying for clear night skies for weeks to catch a glimpse of the damn thing. What sucks is that we've had awful weather in the past few days. Normally, I'd glory in rainfall and storms. But right now, it just freaking blows.

I'm trying very hard to be okay about it, because I normally see Mars and Jupiter and Saturn on my own, when I go out and look at the sky. And I plan to buy my own telescope again, so I'd be able to observe them more closely again. I'm trying, really trying, to be okay about not seeing the opposition.

But I'm not! Waah! I'm at work, on the day of the opposition. *shakes fist*

:: D said @ 5:51 AM [+] ::
...

Kitt the shit-starter, right Rae? I guess I am, and yesterday was proof of that. Eep.

After work, I attended this seminar thing handled by the parish. The chapel hosted it, so the ladies in our chapel, including mom, really made an effort to make the place nice and presentable, and the guests feel comfortable. There's always been some conflict between us (our village) and the local heirarchy in the parish, so we wanted to make a good impression on the first activity that the parish allowed us to host.

Okay, the thing was called Centering Prayer seminar. Very vague in terms, right? Mom signed both of us in, because it has been a while since I attended anything parish-oriented. After the shift, the people at work went to their regular hangout, and Ricci, Wes and I went for breakfast.

I'd told Mom that I'd be late. The activity starts at 8, and I told her that I'd be there by nine, because kelangang makisama. We ate breakfast, and they played videoke. I don't sing karaoke, smoke, or drink alcohol, so I was just singing along with the lyrics whenever someone was belting it out (I can sing with the choir, but I'm a chicken when it comes to holding the mic for singing purposes). We left by 8, coz Wes bought his car and he had to bring his brother to the airport. Ricci wanted to go out with her daughter, and I had that parish thing.

I got there at nine. Mom later told me that the activity started out late, so in effect, I was just on time.

Okay, so what was the big deal?

There was a talk by the lady who practices Centering Prayer, a different kind of prayer that involves contemplative prayer practiced by monks. I think the two founders, or the two guys whom they consider as proponents of Centering Prayer are contemplative monks (Trappist and Benedictine, I think). She said something like prayer being an automatic thing for people and (from what I understand, actually, she lumped the whole thing with so much psychobabble, I'm only relying on my understanding of what they said) that the purpose of prayer is lost in the world.

She used the example of us being bombarded by so many thoughts in our minds that we don't 'communicate' with God in a general sense. Fine.

So, we practiced the form of prayer they were practicing. Something involving 'going deep', and using a sacred word. Tito Raul later on said that it was similar to Trancendental Meditation. When he asked what's the difference, the lady explained something wishy-washy blah blah to say that it wasn't TM because with TM you're made to concentrate on a meaningless word to 'detach' your thoughts from the world. That was when I started to go riiight (insert rolling eyes here).

In fairness, it was a different kind of prayer, in that you try not to communicate your words and thoughts. But it was a bit dangerous (personally speaking) because you go into a deep (or somewhat deep) meditative state. Mom later said that they could even make a hypnotic suggestion without you knowing it, because you were in 'deep'.

Actually, they were one word short of the whole thing being meditation. But they didn't SAY it. They went the roundabout way by calling it "detachment", "consenting to God's presence", blah blah. If I didn't know better, I'd think they were really going out of their way NOT to call it meditation. The lady even said something that some people call it 'New Age', and the people who watch Mother Angelica in EWTN think it's a New Age kind of thing (later on, I agreed with Mother Angelica's group. It is nothing but some New Age thing)

There was a second talk, in which I really TOTALLY disagreed with what they were saying.

So, in bullet points, I'm going to try to organize my thoughts on what they were saying, and putting in my thoughts.

1. That it's 'normal' for people between 0-7 years old to be self-centered and selfish, and at 7-15 years old, we should be learning to be more 'others centered'

This is the first thing. She introduced some basic catechism involving Adam and Eve, and Paradise and Original Sin. Fine. I took up Theology in college, so I knew that.

They said that it's 'normal' for a person to be that way. This is the very first thing I disagreed with. Good thing Mom and I weren't sitting together, because I started fidgeting in my seat and trying to catch her eye in the back. I would've made a thousand and one side comments with Mom. I was seated with Cris, a girl from Daniw. But she's a quiet person, so I didn't want to disturb her if she was absorbing this.

What's the big deal? I can explain their whole damn diagram in terms WE are familiar with (see point 4). I was waiting for them to use fallen or wounded nature as a consquence of Original Sin. But they didn't. Between 0-7 it's *normal* for us to be self-centered and SELFISH??

By the time you hit seven, you'd have been a recipient of THREE sacraments: baptism, reconciliation and communion. What's the point of those three sacraments if not to help you to become closer to God? So, essentially what you're saying that it's normal for me to become a self-centered bitch when I was younger? Where's the help and responsibility that's placed on the family here, to raise children right?

I helped raise my brother, and I don't agree that it's normal for him to be a brat as a kid. That's the point of helping raise children. So they'd have proper values. And it's our responsibility to make him aware and familiar with the Church, both as an institution and as a people. Now, at fifteen, you receive Confirmation. That's four out of the SEVEN sacraments. What's the point of those sacraments if it's 'normal' to not think or act good before you're seven, or before you're fifteen?

2.This is a contemplative prayer for the contemplative order.

I said that this was written by contemplatives. This is like, getting the prayer manual of the Carmelites and applying them to contemporary life. There's obviously going to be a whole lot of things that're going to go wrong. Because if you're a monk, you'd understand the whole context of contemplative prayer. That's your daily existence. But it's different if you live out in the world. Monks are used to prostrating themselves on the ground, praying for hours, because of the intensity of their communion with God. That's not the case with people living in the world.

I'm sure that if I were a contemplative monk living in a cloister, and I read the books on Centering Prayer, I'd understand the context of what it's talking about. Because it's my daily life. But the context is misunderstood once a layman uses it on his or her daily life. It's like reading a medical book and deciding that you can do surgery. I'm sure that contemplatives can practice this in the spirit that it was meant for (although I still have reservations on the premise of the whole damn thing. Point later)

3. These people aren't theologians. I don't think they based this in Catholic Theology.

I made an effort to talk to the speaker privately during the break, in the hopes of getting some concrete theological answers to my questions. Because the whole time, I haven't heard them speak of the Church. And the seminar's attended by men and women who are active in the parish (lectors, assistants, choirpeople, etc). You'd think they'd put it in the context of our work in our respective chapels or churches. Or at least say something grounded in Theology. God knows that we haven't been going back to the basic things, talking about catechism, and the Bible as if they were taboo subjects. Instead, the 'in' thing is to be part of the modern world. Bleh, the consequence of living in this society. But I digress.

So, there's nothing there. Where's the context?

4. You can explain their diagram in terms more Catholic than what they used.
Fine. I studied Theology in college. The seminar thing talked about something basic like Original Sin. But it wasn't even solid catechism bits. It was something wishy-washy. They didn't even use the term Fallen nature. Instead of saying what they explained the whole point of centering prayer was in their terms, I'm gonna try to rewrite what they could have said.

We have a wounded nature as a consequence of the disobedience of our first parents. Adam and Eve were given lives that were in perfect union with God. They were happy (another term that they misused). But then they sinned, and they lost that privelege. Adam learned hard labor, discomfort, sweat. Eve learned the pain of childbirth. Man now became prey to disordered thoughts and actions. Enter Christ and His salvific grace. He died to save us from our sins. What happens now is that we have a wounded nature susceptible to pain, bad judgment, sin, etc as a consequence of Original Sin. But we also have God's and Christ's assurance that we can enter Heaven, if we work at it. Enter the Church, which Christ established when He died.

That's very Catholic. People who believe in a different way, have different religions would have a different take on this. But this is what we believe in. Now, that's not in their talk thing. Instead they had hapyaw catechism (not even as 'solid' as the ones we teach kids at Cats. This is even more watery), talking about Happiness and a sense of union with God with Adam and Eve. When they sinned, they lost that sense of union with God. Instead, people now equate 'happiness' with material things, disordered desires, blah blah. Then they bring up some psychoshit acetate saying that it's normal to be selfish and self-centered at 0-7, and learn to be people-centered from 7-15. Which is all well and good, on the surface.

Riiight. In my mind I was thinking, what the hell do these people wanna be? New Age? Modern Meditation? I was disappointed with the seminar because it didn't attempt to put the prayer into the context of what we, the participants do on a regular basis. In fact, what they were teaching may even be in conflict with what we believe in. Who knows? They didn't bring up anything in their prayer methods that proves that it has the support of the Church, or if it was even grounded in theology, or it's going the right direction.

5. This is a non-denominational seminar.

I rode with the Santoses going home, and I heard Tita Pinky say that she overheard the lady say that the seminar was non-denominational. I had my doubts, but Tita Pinky just confirmed it. You can do the same seminar to Protestants, Baptists, other Christian denominations, and use the exact same words.

Where's the Catholic context here? What makes this prayer in line with what we believe in, to make our prayer life more attuned to the way we practice our belief system? What makes it different?

6. It's full of psychobabble bullshit.

True. At one point I was thinking, what the hell did they want to be? Did they want to be meditative shrinks, or did they want to practice Christianity? Actually, you can even replace the word God with Allah, Buddha, the Goddess, and you can replicate the thing with another believe system. Honestly. You meditate (in their terms 'consent to God's healing presence' blah blah).

What the fuck are you talking about, girl?

So while the second talk was going on, I was contemplating either to raise a question or walk out entirely. Because I didn't agree with the whole damn whiteboard lecture they were putting up. None of it. It drove me nuts. I was debating whether or not to just leave on the first break. But then I knew that it'd eat me up later on. And I'm a firm believer in saying what you want to say to the person you want to say it to. If you can't say your piece to that person the way you talk about that person behind their back, then shut up and hold your tongue. I don't want any regrets when I want to say something to someone, and then miss out on it, because it's just going to drive me nuts. Not to mention I'd be falling into the same trap I accuse other people with.

So, I raised my hand. The lady acknowledged it, and while I was waiting to be called (she was wrapping up her point), I was looking at the participants. Shit, if I didn't speak up, they might come away from this seminar totally convinced of this thing. And that's dangerous. Or maybe they have doubts, but in the way of the Filipino in a public place, they'd just rather shut up and not say anything (and then gossip about it later. Blah). I was called, and I was nervous because in essence I was going to shoot her down.

"I have two points, actually. I hope it won't take long.

The first is, in your whole diagram, it's normal for people to be selfish and self-centered between the ages of 0-7, right? Normal ang pagiging makasarili. And between 7-15, we should have learned, or should be learning to be more people-centered. Ibang tao na ang iniisip natin. Right?" ("Yes")

The second point is a question. In this whole diagram I don't see where the Church can help us here. You started with Original Sin, and then later on, you say that we desire disordered needs. But, Ma'am, between zero to fifteen, I've had had taken four sacraments. At seven, I'd have taken Communion, and Confession. Before I'm one, I've been baptized. And at fifteen, I took Confirmation. Are you saying that in effect, the sacraments are useless? What's the point of those sacraments if not to help us be closer to God? And you're saying that it's normal to be (in essence) bad before that.

Because I do not agree with being seven and that it's okay that you're a selfish kid, who only wants what they want, no matter what.

Where does religion come into this diagram? Asan ang simbahan? You also said that right now we've grown up without a sense of union with God. What's the purpose of Church and religion, then? If you're grown up and youjust now try to regain that 'happiness' that you're talking about?"

When I was asking my question, I suddenly heard an outbreak of murmurings around me. My mind went crap, Kit, what did you just do? I didn't know if they were saying what the hell is this upstart doing there, if I had a point, or if they had similar questions in mind.

She tried to explain that we can grow up without having a communion with God. She had this acetate talking about us having a 'True Self', and a 'False Self'. The True Self being the true person that we are. The False Self is the person that we're being, the one that's clouded with thoughts and distractions (there was even a diagram involving concentric circles). She said that a child essentially doesn't have an idea of the Church except what's handed down to them by parents, teachers, blah blah. Her point was (at least, I think) that as a kid, we think of God differently (the carrot-and-stick God that older people use to scare kids), and that fear of God is carried over when we grow older (Shit, maybe I'm overcompensating, here). Then she said "I meant, the Church as a people. I hope you don't mean the Church as an institution-?"

"Ma'am, I meant both. Because we raise children up wanting them to be familiar with the Church, to love the Church. And as I've said, there's nothing in your diagram where you place the Church's role and responsibility in this."

She went to explaining the True and False Self thing, and that we do grow up with a sense of our religion. Just that we can't take away the False Self that we've acquired (if she'd said "due to the fallen nature we've inherited from our First Parents, we are weak and prone to weakness", and I'd've been satisfied. I was thinking please please bring it into context, the context of faith but she didn't. She went the psych route). It just depends on how 'thick' or 'thin' our False Self is, later on. Referring to the concentric circles.

We had a break, and Mrs Pastrana (from our chapel), tapped me from the pew behind mine, and she whispered that she "totally agreed with what you were saying." She was nodding and saying that she understood what I wanted to say. Crap, what did I just do?

I went to the back where Mom was sitting with the Registration ladies from our chapel, and I was honestly thinking of leaving already. Because I didn't want to listen anymore, and I'd caused a ruckus. There were about seventy participants to that seminar, including people from the parish council, the ladies who assist in the parish church, the men who assist at Mass and lectors. Who the hell is this upstart?

On the way to Mom, Tito Raul waylaid me with something like it was a good point I raised, and I said sheepishly that I was sorry to have disrupted the seminar that way. I got to Mom with a sheepish look on my face. "Crap, Mom I wanna go home." Kasi nakakahiya nga. She was smiling at me, and Tita Chona also had an amused face.

We had another prayer session thing after the break. Twenty minutes, so I just played music in my head, much like turning on Winamp when I'm at the computer. I didn't leave because it seemed like a petty thing to do. Besides, it was going to end at 4:30, and it was already two thirty. So I stayed.

Another break, this time for fifteen minutes. They had books that maybe people wanted to sell. I wanted to go to where Mom was, but Tita Jane sat beside me and asked me what the speakers meant when they were talking about the prayer. When did I suddenly become the authority? Then she said that she did the Inner Eye (another New Age thing. At least this one didn't even pretend NOT to be New Age) (Panic. Overshare!) She said at the Inner Eye they were told to visualize their chakras, etc. I said that maybe the point of the prayer was that people just pray automatically, with no thought to praying it sincerely (at least I think so. I didn't want to say outright that Tita, I think this is a scam). But I had to concede that I didn't really know what they meant with the 'surfacing, going down' thing when they explained how you do that prayer.

I ate some snacks, and I went to the speaker to talk to them privately. I still had a few questions that I didn't want to raise publicly, because I didn't want people to misinterpret why I was asking. I wanted to know what they really meant with Centering Prayer.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry to have disrupted your seminar. ("It's okay.") I think the prayer was good. It's a new way of praying. Just that I don't agree with the premise of Centering Prayer."

We sat down for a bit while the books were selling on one side, and she was munching her snacks, and talked a bit more about what they were doing. We both said that it was frustrating because we had one day for the seminar and it wasn't enough to explain everything (but if the intro seminar's already sketchy, what more about the roots of your system?). I was trying to clarify if the point of the prayer is to have purity of intention when praying, because maybe people lost that. She said no, and that it was more like finding your intention. Then I asked, "so what you're saying is that when we pray, we don't know our intention to pray? How is that?" I don't remember the wording of what she said, but I remember feeling really unsatisfied with her answer. Then I told her that in the whole talk she didn't even bring up the significance and use of Reconciliation. Since this is a Healing and Prayer seminar, I was surprised that they didn't bring Confession up, because it's part of healing, and it's something you use when you sin.

In the end, she said that the seminar's purpose is more to have people take away from it, not what should be there, or should not be there, harping about the stuff that should've been included (to which, inwardly, I thought "Ay puga, tinitira na ako ng babaeing ito. Tang ina nya ha"). I didn't want to press anymore, and I said I still didn't agree with what they were teaching, but that it was interesting to have talked to her.

Later on, Mom told me that she and some ladies saw me talking to the speaker during the break. Tita Chona told my mom "Hindi ata papayag si Kit" ("I don't think Kit agrees to what she's teaching" The English translation's baaad, I have to say, but the comment was said in the context of Tita Chona being amused and teasing my mom that I would'nt let go because I didn't understand/agree with the speaker. I think tenacious is the right word-?)

Last talk, and then we dismiss. It was a successful seminar all around, at least for our village, because the participants were well taken cared of. I'm proud to say that our chapel's among the nicest in our area (Dad's the architect *cough*). Our ladies were very accommodating, and the chapel was clean. The pews were beautiful, the acoustic was good. The (free) snacks and (paid) lunch later on was delicious. We had about three water dispensers, the rest rooms were clean. The sacristy's nice and comfortable. And the area's peaceful and not distracting.

There was a lady who was a representative of the parish, whom I think coordinated/organized the seminar for the parish, and with us as hosts. She sat at the front pew, nodding her head at the speaker and taking notes whenever she made a point. So, it stands to reason that she's totally sold into this prayer thing. It suddenly rained haaard at the end of the seminar, so everyone was stuck at the chapel waiting for their rides. Mom and I split up coz she rode with Tita Chona, and I rode with Tito Raul and Tita Pinky (Tita Chona's car had space for just one more), with Mr Ponce hitching too. As we were readying to get out with our umbrellas, the parish lady took me aside. Mom and the rest had to walk ahead, and I told Tita Pinky to go ahead with Tito Raul and that I'd follow.

I think her name's Mrs Dar-? Anyway, she took me aside and told me I raised a good point about the Church and stuff. And then she said that the speakers explained how it was (to which I was already thinking you're trying to explain for them further, huh?). I said yeah. That the Centering Prayer thing was not to take the place of other prayers, and that praying this way's meant to enhance your prayer life.

I said, yeah, and then she gave off the aura of also agreeing with me, so I also said that I agree that it's another form of prayer. Just that my concern was, as Catholics, what's the context of this with respect to our prayer life? And that they were saying all these things about being normal to be selfish and self-centered and by that time, we've already taken the Sacraments. She said that yeah, it's supposed to augment your prayer life. I said I agree, but we have Reconciliation to assist us in being closer to God. Since this was a seminar of prayer and healing, I was surprised that it wasn't brought to the context of what we believe in. That the significance and use of Reconciliation as a means of healing and contrition wasn't even explained. Why?

I had to tell her, since she was part of the parish council, that my concern really was that you can use the exact same seminar on Protestants, and other Christian beliefs and it's still the same message. What makes it different? What's the context, or is this all just a general thing? What makes this significant to us Catholics, if the things we believe in, aren't discussed in relation to what they're teaching? She said that she was touched when I raised the point about the sacraments and the Church, and that it was a good point. We weren't arguing insofar as discussing. It was a good short convo, despite of the rain. I walked under her (huge) umbrella to get to Tito Raul's car. I had the impression that she's taking what I said, and what happened into consideration, and that's good enough. She's part of the Parish Pastoral Council, and she has the Parish Priest's ear, so it was good enough that we talked. I had the impression that she'll keep that in mind later on when we have seminar/talks regarding that particular group, or any other seminar thing that we have. In this sense, I'm glad I spoke up. Because a lot of us are just quiet with our fears, and eventually quiet those fears in favor of just riding with the status quo.

Dad was laughing when Mom and I told him and Bry about what happened. They were going on about me 'doing it again', and that I shook things up again (cue rolling eyes).

:: D said @ 3:23 PM [+] ::
...

Pizza Monday

Yay! Pizza Monday came at last!

Went to Klite after hitching a ride with Chi and Bry in the morning. I got there at seven, and since I forgot to bring an ID for the duty guard, I was relieved to see Mylinda walk in when I was at the front desk. She called out, "Hey, you! You're here!", which was essentially my gate pass in so the guard waved me through.

So, I arrived early. Damn I made some carnations yesterday. I could've brought some this morning but I forgot (or chickened out). Next time. They're still using their mugs! Yay! The mugs we made for them last Christmas! So glad. They look well-used and the lettering (personalized with their names and the title of their show) was a bit scuffed at the edges, but I'm glad they use it for regular days and not just an accessory.

Here's the thing about that station. Somewhere down the line we've become friends with the dj's and some of the staff. It's a small office, actually, so it's easy to make friends. And we always listen in, and comment or kibitz either online, by text, or by phone, so they're familiar with us. Lol, and we've won tickets to numerous movie premieres they show.

(Shoutout to Meg, who introduced us to the show when she won tickets to Canada for their Goo Goo Dolls concert thing)

Mylinda ushered me to the booth, and Vito came in from smoking in the washroom ("Hey! Long time no see!") When he got on air he said that I was only there for the food ("Hell yeah!") and that I'd be gone soon after. They're really funny people. There was this segment where Vito had me and Mylinda share the mic to comment on a list he got over the Net regarding Men's Fashion. Lol, my two minutes of fame. ;)

So glad when Butch came. He didn't bring pictures of the baby, which woulda been really nice. The pizza person came with the gift certificates and umbrellas. She said that the actual pizzas would be coming soon after. They gave 6 free pizzas for the show (Whoo!). Three of those was for the new flavor. Something beef and potatoes. VERY nice. It's like a beef sandwich thing, with beef strips. Very juicy. Yum. The potato wedges were a nice touch. Kinda like Shakey's mojo potatoes.

Another guest, Jen, came soon after. I was surprised coz she said she studied in Ateneo, and we soon found out that we had common teachers. I mean, I had teachers in my college who teach at Ateneo full time. And those were teachers I really really liked. She also talked about her other teacher, Andrew, whom she knows as the Goth Teacher. And I told her I knew the guy waaay before he went goth (complete with black nail polish, black clothes, silver, black eyeliner. The works). I knew him as the Pinoy version of John Cusack. Yeah, John Cusack. And now he's Goth Boy. *rolls eyes*

One other guest came over, the manager or something for MusicOne. A Brit named Vince. I swear, I couldn't take my eyes off his eyes, which were blue. In a country of brown eyed people, you don't see a whole lot of other eye color here. And of course there was the accent. Hee. Turns out he's been living in Asia since 1989, in various countries. Interesting guy.

The pizza arrived by 8.15, and we made headway for the pantry by 8.30, leaving the booth empty for the length of two songs. By nine, three boxes were gone. And a box of buffalo wings. And three 1.5 liter bottles of Coke. There were about ten of us there, so it was okay. At final count, I had about three slices, as did Vito. The two of us ate the most with the others fluctuating between one and two slices (liars). Vince commented (off air, thank goodness) that for my build, I look like I was just quietly packing it in. Mylinda asked me where the hell my food went coz (she said) I was so thin. I joked that I didn't eat dinner and lunch yesterday to prepare for this. Haha.

Jen had to leave early, and the next shift DJ came on, so we went back to the pantry to finish off whatever's left. I think Vito and Mylinda didn't have enough, so they ate some more (lol). Since I was wearing my spider slave ring, that was a topic of conversation. Vito commented that I'm the kind of girl who accessorizes, noting my antique-looking necklace (leather chain), and earrings. Then he pointed at my slave ring ("I'm a scary commuter. It scares potential snatchers"). Butch commented "You don't undress Kitt, you disassemble her" because of said accessories. *rolls eyes*

We helped them for next Thursday's playlist (a list of ten songs with a similar theme). Butch's suggestion was for songs with a royalty-themed title, ie Two Princes, King of Wishful Thinking, Queen of Hollywood, etc. Nice. Got my Ray-ban gift certificate from looong ago (and only arrived two days ago at the station), snagged some stickers, and left with Butch.

Rode the bus to Cubao, and we caught a bit of traffic at the Sta Clara area coz it's the Feast of St Claire. The event totally escaped my memory, so we got stuck in semi-crawling traffic for about ten minutes. Got home.

:: D said @ 9:13 PM [+] ::
...

Snagged this from Kimble's blog. I think the higlighted ones mean the ones I've read/watched. I think. :)

1984, George Orwell
The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho
Alice's Adventures In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll
Animal Farm, George Orwell
Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy
Anne Of Green Gables, LM Montgomery
Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer
The BFG, Roald Dahl
Birdsong, Sebastian Faulks
Black Beauty, Anna Sewell
Bleak House, Charles Dickens
Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh
Bridget Jones's Diary, Helen Fielding
Captain Corelli's Mandolin, Louis de Bernieres
Catch 22, Joseph Heller
The Catcher In The Rye, JD Salinger
Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl
A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens
The Clan Of The Cave Bear, Jean M Auel ~ Will definitely read this one of these days
Cold Comfort Farm, Stella Gibbons
The Colour Of Magic, Terry Pratchett
The Count Of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas
Crime And Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky
David Copperfield, Charles Dickens
Double Act, Jacqueline Wilson
Dune, Frank Herbert
Emma, Jane Austen
Far From The Madding Crowd, Thomas Hardy
Girls In Love, Jacqueline Wilson
The God Of Small Things, Arundhati Roy
The Godfather, Mario Puzo
Gone With The Wind, Margaret Mitchell
Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
Goodnight Mister Tom, Michelle Magorian
Gormenghast, Mervyn Peake
The Grapes Of Wrath, John Steinbeck
Great Expectations, Charles Dickens
The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald
Guards! Guards!, Terry Pratchett
Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets, JK Rowling
Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire, JK Rowling
Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone, JK Rowling
Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban, JK Rowling
His Dark Materials, Philip Pullman
The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, Douglas Adams
The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien
Holes, Louis SacharI
Capture The Castle, Dodie Smith
Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte
Kane And Abel, Jeffrey Archer
Katherine, Anya Seton
The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe, CS Lewis
Little Women, Louisa May Alcott
Lord Of The Flies, William Golding
The Lord Of The Rings, JRR Tolkien
Love In The Time Of Cholera, Gabriel Garcia Marquez
The Magic Faraway Tree, Enid Blyton
Magician, Raymond E Feist
The Magus, John Fowles
Matilda, Roald Dahl
Memoirs Of A Geisha, Arthur Golden
Middlemarch, George Eliot
Midnight's Children, Salman Rushdie
Mort, Terry Pratchett
Night Watch, Terry Pratchett
Noughts And Crosses, Malorie Blackman
Of Mice And Men, John Steinbeck
On The Road, Jack Kerouac
One Hundred Years Of Solitude, Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Perfume, Patrick Suskind
Persuasion, Jane Austen
The Pillars Of The Earth, Ken Follett
A Prayer For Owen Meany, John Irving
Pride And Prejudice, Jane Austen
The Princess Diaries, Meg Cabot
The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists, Robert Tressell
Rebecca, Daphne Du Maurier
The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett
The Secret History, Donna Tartt
The Shell Seekers, Rosamunde Pilcher
The Stand, Stephen King
The Story Of Tracy Beaker, Jacqueline Wilson
A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth
Swallows And Amazons, Arthur Ransome
A Tale Of Two Cities, Charles Dickens
Tess Of The D'urbervilles, Thomas Hardy
The Thorn Birds, Colleen McCollough
To Kill A Mockingbird, Harper Lee
A Town Like Alice, Nevil Shute
Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson
The Twits, Roald Dahl
Ulysses, James Joyce
Vicky Angel, Jacqueline Wilson
War And Peace, Leo Tolstoy
Watership Down, Richard Adams
The Wind In The Willows, Kenneth Grahame
Winnie-the-Pooh, AA Milne
The Woman In White, Wilkie Collins
Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte

The Godfather (1972)
The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
The Godfather: Part II (1974)
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
Schindler's List (1993)
Citizen Kane (1941)
Casablanca (1942)
Seven Samurai (1954)
Star Wars (1977)
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)
Memento (2000)
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)
Rear Window (1954)
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)
Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back
(1980)Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
The Usual Suspects (1995)
Amelie (2001)
Pulp Fiction (1994)
North by Northwest (1959)
Psycho (1960)
The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
12 Angry Men (1957)
Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)
Goodfellas (1990)
American Beauty (1999)
Vertigo (1958)
The Pianist (2002)
Sunset Blvd. (1950)
Apocalypse Now (1979)
Some Like It Hot (1959)
The Matrix (1999)
To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
Taxi Driver (1976)
The Third Man (1949)
Paths of Glory (1957)
Fight Club (1999)
Das Boot (1981)
L.A. Confidential (1997)
Double Indemnity (1944)
Chinatown (1974)
Requiem for a Dream (2000)
The Maltese Falcon (1941)
Singin' in the Rain (1952)
The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957)
Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi (2001)
Saving Private Ryan (1998)
All About Eve (1950)
M (1931)
Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
Raging Bull (1980)
Once Upon a Time in the West (1968)
Se7en (1995)
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (2000)
The Wizard of Oz (1939)
2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
La Vita e bella (1997)
American History X (1998)
The Sting (1973)
Touch of Evil (1958)
The Manchurian Candidate (1962)
Alien (1979)
Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)
Rashomon (1950)
Leon (1994)
Annie Hall (1977)
The Great Escape (1963)
A Clockwork Orange (1971)
The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)
Reservoir Dogs (1992)
The Sixth Sense (1999)
Jaws (1975)
Amadeus (1984)
On the Waterfront (1954)
Ran (1985)
Braveheart (1995)
High Noon (1952)
Fargo (1996)
Blade Runner (1982)
The Apartment (1960)
Aliens (1986)
Toy Story 2 (1999)
Strangers on a Train (1951)
Modern Times (1936)
The Shining (1980)
Donnie Darko (2001)
Duck Soup (1933)
The Princess Bride (1987)
Lola rennt (1998)
City Lights (1931)
The General (1927)
Metropolis (1927)
The Searchers (1956)
Full Metal Jacket (1987)
Notorious (1946)
Manhattan (1979)
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)
Graduate, The (1967)

:: D said @ 1:54 PM [+] ::
...

HPFandomFuture by ladyjaida
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Created with quill18's MemeGen!

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be sorted @ nimbo.net



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Congratulations on making Ravenclaw!

Well you're one smart little cookie, aren't you? You're wise and clever, and just love to use your wit and learning to your advantage, and sometimes even the disadvantage of others. Well, you nerd, there IS a world outside of that copy of 'Hogwarts: A History', ya know.. Oh don't worry! We all know you're special. You're just a naturally good learner, right? *mummble mummble* Not too much is known about your house right now.. Wow! You're not only intellegent, you're also an enigma!

Ravenclaws to Remember

Cho Chang (you popular bitch..)

:: D said @ 11:06 AM [+] ::
...

Rocking hard

There are songs that when played, makes your skin tingle and your body feel more alive in three minutes than in an hour on a regular day. And you can't help but rock.

My parents tell me that when I'm having these 'moments', I look like I'm having seizures: lip-synching to the lyrics, headbanging in front of the computer with the earphones to my ears. I honestly don't hear people talking to me unless they tap me on the shoulder coz the music's so loud. At which, I jump or yelp, because on my days off I'm awake and typing/posting/writing at the wee hours of the morning. Makes for a different kind of jolt when that happens, seeing as I live in a tree-lined rural area. And I'm a big chicken when it comes to alien stuff and whatnot.

Back to topic. That's what I feel with Lifehouse's Take Me Away. It's a very passionate song, and not just with the lyrics. It rocks so hard that I can't resist but react to the song. Which is why I always put on the headset when I listen to it. Nothing less than full blast to make my ears bleed.

The lyrics seem nice and cute enough, if you just read them. Until you hear them play, you won't have a complete sensory experience with the song. Lol.

Lifehouse
Take Me Away

this time what I want is you
there is no one else
who can take your place
this time you burn me with your eyes
you see past all the lies
you take it all away
I've seen it all
it was never enough
it keeps leaving me needing you

take me away
take me away
I've got nothing left to say
just take me away

I try to make my way to you
but still I feel so lost
I don't know what else I can do
cause I've seen it all
it was never enough
it keeps leaving me needing you

take me away
take me away
I've got nothing left to say
just take me away

don't give up on me yet
don't forget who I am
I know I'm not there yet
but don't let
me stay here alone

I've seen it all and it's never enough
it keeps leaving me needing you
I've seen enough and it's never enough
it keeps leaving me needing you

take me away
take me away
I've got nothing left to say
just take me away
take me away
take me away

Speaking of rocking hard music, I'm also listening to Chad Kroeger's song (the first! the first!) Why Don't You And I, which comes right after Take Me Away on my player. Honestly, the Alex Band version sounds.. flat compared to Chad Kroeger's. Maybe I just want them loud and hard.

Another one on the playlist: Stay Together for the Kids by Blink 182. Where the video shows them playing at an old dilapidated house. Literally shaking the house. :)

Annoying Popups
I've DLed this cute free anti-popup software that makes a funny slapping noise when it captures a popup. Haha. Gives me an evil sense of satisfaction whenever I hear the slap coming on. *snickers*

:: D said @ 10:15 AM [+] ::
...

Whoo! Weekend! Two days off! And seven more days till I get my paycheck! Whoo! Gotta list my to-buy and to-pay stuff before the money breezes out of my hands. *rolls eyes*

Must. Set. Agenda.

Bills first, capriccio later. Bills: cellphone, internet, prepaid phone cards for my family.. groceries. Church. Then, savings for cold storage. The DVD player needs to be repaired..the computer might need looking into.

Tickets for the concert, new shoes. Gotta treat Bry out for a movie one weekend.

Bleh. Looks like the vidcam OR the minidisc player I wanna buy will have to be skipped for another time. *rolls eyes*

*takes deep breath*

Fic. Fic. Fic. Fic. Fic. Fic. Fic. Fic. Fic. Fic. Fic. Fic. Fic. Fic. Fic. Fic. Fic. Fic. Fic. Fic. Fic. Fic. Fic. Fic. Fic. Fic. Fic. Fic. Fic. Fic. Fic. Fic.

There. I think I've finished my pimpage quota. Sheesh. My life's more than my writing, for crying out loud. You think you put in your *whole* day in your blog/journal but it's not true. There are a whole lot of worthwhile things I wish I could've had the computer handy for, so that I could write it down. Like how the watermist looks like when wheels turn so fast on a slick road. Or how the Marikina River and the Pasig look like when it swells with water just after a storm. Or the scavenger families that I pass by, starting to wake up from sleeping beside mounds and mounds of trash.

It's frustrating, and also gives a tremendous amount of relief. On the one side, you have so many moments you wish you had a pen and paper for, for when you go over the deep end and become philosophical. Or when you have eureka moments or giddy moments. Or when you have a text marathon with your best friend in the middle of the night just bitching about someone. At the end of the day, you go to your journal and you see.. not a whole lot. Sometimes I think it gives the impression that either I don't talk too much (my friends can attest to it that I'm anything BUT quiet), or that I'm a flake. Because up until that shit with my parents my journal didn't look at all interesting or dramatic or too into detail.

On the other hand, it's a relief because it tells me that my life is not tied down to the stuff that I write online. I still participate in the real world. There are still stuff I have that are private, or too important to write down. Sometimes a memory's more precious because you don't have the facts, the hours, the journal, to have written it down. After you've typed/written it, it looks so clinical. I couldn't finish the whole length of the Duncan Sheik concert because in the end I didn't have time. And later on, I was just too damn lazy to finish it off. But the memory's still crystal in my mind. A bit fuzzy, but the concert's all the more memorable because of that.

So. Why the rantage about fics? Because.. well, because. My life's more than that. Granted, I don't pimp. Well, lol. Hardly ever. And only with the people I can joke around with about. (right, Punz? hehe) In the end, as May said, it's all about what I like to write. To hell with the others. I like the way I do things. If I get good reviews, fine. I'm not such an ice cube not to be giddy and excited when I get feedback. But I'd like honest ones. Don't sugarcoat it with just fine when it's not.

If you're wondering, this isn't about me.

:: D said @ 6:09 PM [+] ::
...

Real life

Okay, Punz may want to kick me now, but May and I are going to watch the Plumb concert. Haha.

Walked in the rain on the way home. Glorious. One guy walked past me with an umbrella and told me I might catch a cold or whatever. I was wearing a jacket with a hood and taking my time walking, but I turned to him with a grin and said, it's okay. I love the rain. I love gentle downpour. Two days ago I went home in dirty rain, and I had to wash my hair.

As always, long jeep and bus rides accumulates to about an hour and a half of no one to talk to and keeping quiet. The people at the office think I'm crazy for being able to sleep on the busride home, when the ride's 'notorious'. I guess it all depends on the person.

I love riding my bus. They complain about the pollution coz it's the open bus. But at six in the morning, there really aren't too many vehicles on the road. Rush hour's at six thirty, and I'm at the highways by six fifteen. So, no pollution. On the contrary, I don't like aircon buses. Makes me feel cramped and cooped up. Not to mention all the creepy crawly germs swarming around because it's a cold/hot environment filled with transient passengers from God-knows-where. I'd rather take my chances with an open bus, thank you.

Besides, in the event of a holdup, or an accident, I can easily jump out or escape from an open bus, compared to an aircon one: one entrance and exit. Good luck getting out in time.

:: D said @ 6:52 PM [+] ::
...

I just finished (yay!) the book Primary Colors. I love, absolutely looove the ending. It was an absolute cliffhanger. It's like.. the moment when you see the character on the brink of glory and tragedy. He goes behind the curtain, he opens it, and we see a blinding light. The camera's behind the character, and we cut to fade. THAT's how it feels to read it. Argh! Is there a sequel? Dammit!

But of course, I love this part:

"It's a long story," I said. "And I promise, I will tell it to you, tell you every last bit of it, and then I'll answer every one of your picky, acute questions. I'll do it until you are completely satisfied. I'll do it for years, for the rest of our lives, if that's how long you want. But only if you agree to several ground rules. First, I have to have the same rights as you do. And the most important is, I get to be as candid as you -- and that means if I think the positives you did in Florida were just okay, I have a right--"

"But that wasn't--"

"--I have a right to say it without my life-- our lives-- crashing down around me. And second, the second ground rule has to do with what really was going on in New York: I will not fuck around with this anymore. The world, our world, moves just too fast to guarantee anything. But, Daisy, I am just totally fucking in love with your eyes, the way you see things-- no. Shit! I am so bad at this. It's more than that. I'm in love with... whatever it is.." She was beginning to frown, but not her eyes. "...with the thing that makes you who you are. Your heart. With you. Okay? I'm in love with you... Daise, look, I'm kind of a mess. I have no idea who I am anymore. And this-- I realized the last few weeks without you-- this is that thing I'm most certain of in my life: the way I feel about you. So those are the two ground rules."

-------------------

Sigh. I'm not much into mush (well, actually, I am, but hey), but insofar as real life mushiness goes, this kind of confession's going to do me in. I wish I were Daisy.

:: D said @ 6:19 PM [+] ::
...

Bliss

by Alice Peacock and John Mayer

Your touch is electric
I felt it the first time you held me
The way we connected
So easily
I’ve tried to define it
Searched for the perfect phrase
I’ve tried to describe it
In a million different ways

(Chorus)
It’s joy, it’s ecstasy, it’s truth it’s destiny
And even love is not enough
To tell you how you make me feel
There’s only one word for this

I’ve got to admit it
You took my heart by surprise
Don’t know how you did it
But baby, I’ve never felt so alive
I already know what the future holds
As long as you are here with me

It’s joy, it’s ecstasy, it’s truth, it’s destiny
To tell you how you make me feel
It’s faith, it’s honesty, it’s life, it’s everything
To say “I love you” is not enough
To tell you how you make me feel…
It’s in your smile, it’s in you kiss
It’s the reason I exist
There’s only one word for this
It’s bliss

:: D said @ 6:04 PM [+] ::
...