If my life could be a song, it'd be Plumb's Real, which starts off with "Look at me, twenty-three, beautiful sight to see tonight." Which is, incidentally, my age last year. But the lyrics still apply. Do I get life half the time? I don't. I'm just struggling to get by. In the meantime, I write, I read, I observe. This journal is what it feels like.
I remember being six years old, and my parents taking me and my sister to the rallies (at least the ones 'safe enough' to bring children to). I also remember them leaving us at home with our yaya while Chi and I wailed to be brought along. I'm sure there were more protest rallies that my parents went to that were more dangerous. My parents having been the strong activists they were (or still are), it must've been tough to leave their toddler-aged daughters behind to face human barricades, sit-downs, the possible teargas and riot police.
I remember being three years old and watching Ninoy Aquino's face as his family held the funeral. He was my first image of death: an unmoving funereal mask, a bloodied barong, and streaks of blood on his face and shirt. My parents were among the first few civilians who went to Times Street when they heard that Ninoy had been shot.
I remember singing this song in the streets, with adults all around me in tears.
Handog Ng Pilipino Sa Mundo Composed by Jim Paredes
Di na ko papayag mawala ka muli Di na ko papayag na muling mabawi Ating kalayaan kay tagal na nating mithi Di na papayagang mabawi muli
Magkakapit-bisig libu-libong tao Kay sarap pala maging Pilipino Sama-sama iisa ang adhikain Kelan man di na paalipin
Chorus:
Handog ng Pilipino sa mundo Mapayapang paraang pagbabago Katotohanan, kalayaan, katarungan Ay kayang makamit na walang dahas Basta't magkaisa tayong lahat
Magsama-sama tayo, ikaw at ako
Masdan ang nagaganap sa aming bayan Pagsasama ng mahirap at mayaman Kapit-bisig madre, pari, at sundalo Naging langit itong bahagi ng mundo
Huwag muling payagang umiral ang dilim Tinig ng bawat tao'y bigyan ng pansin Magkakapatid lahat sa Panginoon Ito'y lagi nating tatandaan
Location: Airborne Left Singapore at 4AM. Took a cab with Ace from Chi's condo. As before, I cried buckets on the way to the airport. I was leaving my sister for a second time. I don't think Acie's ever seen me cry that much. I think I might've shocked her.
I'm looping Won't Go Home Without You by Maroon 5, and The Way I Am by Ingrid Michaelson on my iPod. I didn't shop too much this time, but I got big ticket items: a 160G external hard drive for myself, a 80G external hard drive for Bry, a car audio set for the iPod (so I can play my music in the car). I'm bringing home a webcam, a video card, a tablet for the family from Chi. I shopped for some clothes for the family at Giordano (sale eh!), and got a lot of chocolates. Some souvenirs.
It was a good trip. I was able to celebrate Chinese New Year with the Chinese. Got to shop for real tech stuff in Singapore. Got to visit the Louvre Greek Exhibit at their National Museum. Went out for drinks and dancing at bars (girls' night out!), saw a bar fight. Went to Hooters Singapore and bought a tank top from their gift shop (for those wondering: all of the Hooters girls were Asian, and their boobs were definitely not C-sized. But they were all petite, svelte girls, so if little Asian women is your thing, this is the place to go). We took a cable car at Sentosa. Walked their malls till our feet cried in protest. Ate real Chinese food (since it was also the CNY, their restaurants make extra effort to cook well - as if they're not fantastic cooks already - and be customer-service focused).
The trip would've been great on it's own, had I just gone by myself and went out with Chi. I owed her a visit from Christmas/NY/her birthday, so I wanted to see her in any case. Ace joining added variety to the Singapore trip, since she was seeing everything with a tourist's fresh eyes. I still get wide-eyed at the city, the variety of cultures and it's people, but Ace was completely new to this. It was fun watching her experience it, and it was great that I had Chi with me. Chi teased her endlessly about her clothes (five days, 7 sets of the SAME polo shirt but in different colors), and fashion sense (the girl hates the very assets she should be highlighting: her legs, eyes and chest).
We didn't get to immerse ourselves in Lucky Plaza, but we went to the perfume store I went to the last time. We got good deals for perfumes (Ace got the equivalent of P900 for perfume that costs P2500 in Manila). On our last day we went to the tech mall (their Greenhills-version of gadgets) to buy her brother's PsP. Having seen Acie 'test drive' Chi's PSP hours before we were going to the airport, it looks like she's also going to use the PSP for herself. Hehe. She was so giddy with the thing (I don't get it though - I guess I've never been a big gamer kind of person). She test-drove the demo unit of the Wii (played tennis!) and got excited about that. I didn't get to buy the iTouch, but I'm not that upset. My wishlist was for the external HD and the iPod car jack thing, so I'm really all set with my stuff.
The new experience for me with this trip was the food. Holy cow, their Chinese food is amazing. Yummy. I've never been a glutton before, but this time around I think I've eaten more in one sitting with their chili crabs and buttered/oatmeal prawns than I remember. I was already full but I still wanted to keep going. :) I kept on thinking: so this is what food high feels like). I was telling Bry over IM that aside from the obvious architectural interests, he'll enjoy Singapore for the Chinese food (which he loves). I think I gained weight, but since the three of us walked most of the time, I'm saying that the walking counterbalanced the gluttony.
At least, that's my story and I'm sticking with it!
The AMAZING chili crabs:
Two trips to Singapore and I still haven't figured out their MRT and bus system.
Went to mass on Sunday, and got to witness catechumens being inducted into the Catholic community. Catholics represent only 3% of Singapore's citizens, so every convert to the faith is a celebration marked with claps, pomp and circumstance. Of all the things I've read and heard about adult Catholic converts, nothing compares to the experience of seeing the catechumens being inducted into the Faith during mass. To visibly see their incorporation, like graduation. Chi and I were talking about in the Philippines, being Catholic is taken for granted that people leave the Faith without active thinking and contemplation. Catholic converts I've read have always talked about feeling that Catholics born into the faith were so lucky to have grown into the faith, and they converts needed to find their way into it. A lot of Catholics want to leave the family, and the converts want to join. Being witness to it made me appreciate my faith even more, and that the country I live in has incorporated the faith into the culture that my life, my choices and my decisions are seamlessly integrated into my faith.
In Singapore where they are the obvious minority, being virtuous and actively living the faith makes you seem weird. Singapore is one of the first countries that's legally accepted and issued prostitution licenses and has institutionalized mandatory health checkups for prostitutes since the 1800s, way before VDs and AIDS were health scares).